When you told me that you loved me,
I didn’t believe you
‘cause all my friends around me,
they told me the same thing too.
It wasn’t until you said this,
that you “liked me immensely”,
that you “more than just liked me”,
That I began to have faith in you.
Those words of yours gave me hope,
a reason, if ever, to be.
A reason, if ever, to love again,
to love you, ‘twas all I need.
And so I let myself, knowing full well
that if it didn’t work out, I’d die.
I gave me the go ahead to love you, with all I had;
I placed, in you, blind trust.
In one day you undid what it took me
a hundred thousand years to do;
Those castle walls I had built around me,
in your presence, they crumbled to dust.
But then, you started growing distant;
my centre ached for why.
I pondered, wondered, as I lay in bed;
gleaming crystals fell from eye.
A night, or three, this went on,
my questions left thoroughly unanswered.
My friends still said “blind faith!” to me
and with whatever strength left in me, I did.
Then came this one thing I dreaded the most,
that one line, or two, you’d say
to crush everything you’ve built me up for;
I’d wished I’d never lived, that day.
You were sweet in your words,
however painful they were to me,
even going on about how real it was.
Still, you couldn’t carry on.
I rue the day I met you,
I rue it with all my heart.
With all that I used to once love you.
… But to rue, alas, I couldn’t start.
You went back on your promise,
to, what, not leave me, this your love.
You said you feared losing me so, you trembled,
losing me, one you “loved so much”.
And though I hate you for building me up,
though I hate you for crashing me down,
for reasons unbeknown to me,
I’m grateful for you to have let me felt loved.
Much as I regret it,
Much as I detest it,
Much as I abhor it,
I still love you, even if just the slightest bit.
Woe is me for having such a huge heart.
Woe am I to be able to love so much.
Woe, for having you find your way into my life.
Woe me for being unable to forget.
And in just 5 days you led me on
the wildest goose chase the world had ever seen;
A roller-coaster ride through the cosmos,
Leaving me to pick up the pieces-es-es, alone, once more.
(comment on this poem)