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How did having Children Change You?  Intervention  1 Oct 11 8:51AM Thread Closed

" How was your weekend?"

" It was f$&()% wild man...went on a road trip, met this freak at a bar blah blah blah."

I'm that " adventurous bachelor" were I work. When people are talking about family picnics, get together, soccer and softball games....I'm talking about sailing on my time off and going to Carmike @ around midnight with a friend to see the final showing of Planet of the Apes.

They talk about how a pain in the ass their kids can be, I talk about how I love  all my nices and nephew and how adorable they are when I come over to visit.

I love kids. I'm fine being were I'm at, I like to travel, I like my hobbies and I like adventure / photography ...But how's the other side of the fence like? I'm talking about finally living in a lame goody toe shoes suburban neighborhood, white picket fence, making it in time for soccer games and an annoying mortage you gotta pay??? Share your experiences.

re: How did having Children Change You?  unknown  1 Oct 11 9:00AM Thread Closed

^^^ you're living a delusion ^^^

"Now, from America, (Canada too), empty indifferent things are pouring across, sham things, dummy life…. A house, in the American sense, an American apple or a grapevine over there, has nothing in common with the house, the fruit, the grape into which went the hopes and reflections of our forefathers … Live things, things that lived — that are conscious of us — are running out and can no longer be replaced. We are perhaps the last to have known such things."–-Rainer Maria Rilke

re: How did having Children Change You?  sybarite  1 Oct 11 9:11AM Thread Closed

The quick answer is a resounding YES.  How can they not?  Suddenly someone is 100% your responsibility.  I'm very honest about being a parent, which I've found, is not common.  Most will gush and goo about the 'joys' of it all because they're afraid someone will call them a monster if they tell the truth.

The baby years are a lot of work and no sleep.  Yes, there are moments that you will treasure forever but honestly, more work than reward.  Once my kids were older, I enjoyed parenting more and now that they are grown, I enjoy my friendship with both of them immensely more than I enjoyed them when I was raising them.

I'm not the natural 'born to be a mommy' type so I did find parenting a bit of a burden at times.  With the first one, you tend to adjust them to your life but with two or more, you adjust your life to theirs.  At least that's what I found.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love my girls with every ounce of my being but, were I to do it all over again knowing what I know now--I think I might chose not to have kids.  We also had very little money which was an added pressure, in my opinion.  Kids who don't have what the other kids have, tend to have a bit of a tough go during the school years, especially high school.  It was very hard for me to not be able to give me kids all the clothes and gadgets etc that are part of 'fitting in.'  Are they better for it now--I believe so but school was rough for both of them.

re: How did having Children Change You?  unknown  1 Oct 11 9:35AM Thread Closed

Did you just say you love your girls?? ; D

Lol...no wonder you're exhausted.  Gotta have some sons in there to balance that out.

re: How did having Children Change You?  Intervention  1 Oct 11 9:41AM Thread Closed

That's an interesting and awesome take you got there Sybarite.

I agree, going to High School and not having the namebrand clothes to fit with a certain clique can be a burden.

Did you try to make your kids earn it? i.e. getting a job - mowing lawns, working fast food and doing manual labor??

I wouldn't mind making my kids do those things at all.

re: How did having Children Change You?  sybarite  1 Oct 11 10:46AM Thread Closed

LOL  I grew up with five brothers, the only girl.  I made a pact with the universe, I would only have two kids cause I knew I couldn't handle anymore than that and the universe would make them girls in return.

I was definitely not meant to be a mom to sons, this I know in my heart.


> Did you just say you love your girls?? ; D
>
>  Lol...no wonder you're exhausted.  Gotta have some sons in there to
> balance that out.

re: How did having Children Change You?  sybarite  1 Oct 11 10:51AM Thread Closed

Thanks Intervention.  I believe I'm one of the few parents who is willing to give an honest opinion on raising kids.

We lived in a rather rural area and I didn't drive at that time so after-school jobs weren't too easily managed, but yes, they both found jobs as teens to be able to buy things they wanted but didn't need--somehow I was always able to manage the 'needs' on next to no money.  

I firmly believe in teens earning money for things they want.  No way was I paying for cell phones and such--if they wanted them, they had to earn their own money to buy them.  Neither of them ever lost a cell phone because they worked hard to have them.


> That's an interesting and awesome take you got there Sybarite.
>
>  I agree, going to High School and not having the namebrand clothes to
> fit with a certain clique can be a burden.
>
>  Did you try to make your kids earn it? i.e. getting a job - mowing
> lawns, working fast food and doing manual labor??
>
>  I wouldn't mind making my kids do those things at all.

re: How did having Children Change You?  jharrison  1 Oct 11 11:53AM Thread Closed

..and I love your honesty, syba .. though makes me even more glad I don't have kids as it sounds even scarier than all the ways I have already scared myself with the nightmare that is 'having kids'!

(this is excluding the absolute love, of course!)

:)

re: How did having Children Change You?  sybarite  1 Oct 11 12:13PM Thread Closed

LOL  Thanks Jen.  

I remember this young couple asking me if I thought their getting a puppy would be good 'training' for having a baby.  My answer was, 'Sure, if you plan on having a baby you can leave on a run outside whenever you like."

re: How did having Children Change You?  jharrison  1 Oct 11 12:25PM Thread Closed

I have a cat .. that's enough for me! :)

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