poetry critical

online poetry workshop

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third dimension  cadmium  30 May 16 11:39AM Thread Closed

poetry is the third dimension to prose's two dimensional exchange of "gimme something"... like, "gimme an answer to life or where's the frozen food aisle.  

note to myself: the reason your poetry doesn't work is because you want something from the reader. the reason it does work is because you give something and only want what you give to be the gift and appreciated, the word-flower, not your brilliant brain and oh so hearty heart.

re: third dimension  Rossant  31 May 16 11:35AM Thread Closed

You have tried to be hip of late.That's like selling out

re: third dimension  cadmium  31 May 16 4:38PM Thread Closed

i'm stretching into some local rhythms is all. i've always never been hip, but i do exist as hip when i'm with other hip people. you read everything i've posted here, you'll see what i'm trying to do. people have been real shits to me from the first post i made -- i mean, 20 something riding in cars looking to impress, and because i'm always the outsider, they think they can get an easy laugh by just saying i look funny... i'm trying too hard, i'm this and that. truth is, i was with the beats in the late 50's as a kid, and learned my ways through their values -- all those people -- dylan, ginsberg, ferlinghetti and the whole san francisco scene. my daughter once said to me, oh, you're wearing clothes like we wear' -- and, i'd been wearing those close since 1954 and all the kids are trying to look like us. and, now it seems i'm trying to look or act hip. well, wow. i mean, and you're really looking and thinking about it that hard -- really comparing your life and times with how you yourself act, and coming to some understanding of what surface is and what it isn't. really got to admire you for that. you're almost einstein.

mike.

re: third dimension  cadmium  31 May 16 9:29PM Thread Closed

i took down most all my stuff. left what i think is good enough. tried here to post challenges to the others, trying to set up a dialog, a battle of poems -- battle by image -- but, that couldn't work here. it's not that kind of workshop.

nothing's lost, but i still have the stuff offline. like some parking place in the desert for things that don't fly anymore.

re: third dimension  cadmium  1 Jun 16 9:58PM Thread Closed

feelings are energy fields, and they form our body's response to other energy fields. a combination of feelings creates a complex which is not describable in language. poetry is the art of using word analogs to physical reality to create an artificial and virtual time field in which the emotions can form as structured, sculpted physical responses seeable to the mind. the mind can understand that something is happening, where before it only felt chaos, and the wording you use to direct the mind game is the process you create as a poem.

you don't know what you feel, but you feel something. you don't know what to call it, but you can say words about it. you don't know what to say, but you merge kinds of words into phrases, and bend and weave the phrases into a physical real object in your physical real world.

the more you look at what you're saying, the more you'll see what can be said. showing what's never been shown shows you what you didn't know. that's how poetry makes emos like us finally into someone who can fight back against the 'know it from psych 101's' and 'dopers with words', and actually be just as real as anyone else.

re: third dimension  cadmium  7 Jun 16 1:57PM Thread Closed

i'm flying so far over your head, i'm on pluto the pup's A list. anytime you want to be more than an anonymous carp, just flash a poem and i'll take your opinion as more than school-boy fake-out.

> > i took down most all my stuff. left what i think is good enough.
> tried
> > here to post challenges to the others, trying to set up a dialog, a
> > battle of poems -- battle by image -- but, that couldn't work here.
> > it's not that kind of workshop.
> >
> > nothing's lost, but i still have the stuff offline. like some
> parking
> > place in the desert for things that don't fly anymore.
>
> I think it is true, you are poetry’s equivalent of the Dodo, those
> poetic wings of yours were never destined to fly.

re: third dimension  unknown  7 Jun 16 8:12PM Thread Closed

i yawned

re: third dimension  cadmium  7 Jun 16 8:41PM Thread Closed

what else could you do? you need to get more sleep so your brain works better at reading. you're just not being fair to yourself. also, you need to brush your teeth. you exhale when you yawn.

why are you not sleeping? you should meditate and drink soothing things like whisky and get drunk and fall into your monitor and break things.

re: third dimension  unknown  8 Jun 16 4:17AM Thread Closed

> what else could you do? you need to get more sleep so your brain works
> better at reading. you're just not being fair to yourself. also, you
> need to brush your teeth. you exhale when you yawn.
>
> why are you not sleeping? you should meditate and drink soothing
> things like whisky and get drunk and fall into your monitor and break
> things.


Have you taken your laxative, you are sounding extremely constipated off late.
You presumably need more roughage with your poetry,

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