i start out by getting rid of all that fat chat talk that life makes me talk. i look inside and see what i feel i'm feeling about, and what can actually be said about it. then, i start writing, but i'm looking in the rear view mirror watching the reader tail-gating me, and i know i've got to be consistent and not jerk the reader around, like known and perc, just to get my rocks off in laughter at the poor fools who'd think they were reading a poem. then, losing that self-consciousness, i start finding what i can actually know about how the feelings bind to my life and make a self at all.
all the while it's not just a mental trip, like poogy the unknown's brilliant dictionary and thesaurus treasures -- little gems too breathlessly twink to live anywhere but in poetry websites. i mean, i'm not trying to trick myself into thinking i'm writing poetry.
so, the feelings and my body re-merge back in the material sound and shape of writing, and i discover -- DISCOVER -- what the emotion i'm feeling is. i mean, not the cheap pop life 'love, hate, munchies' things pre-packaged. not the phony, gottta say something but i don't know how to say anything.
i mean, the moment when the ancient ghosts step in and make me say and do on the page what i can't see or say on my own.
so, they wrote this. don't y'all go hatin' on me, cause i'm just their slave.