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Dead People

"Dead people
are like scarecrows,
they cannot hurt you."
I cautiously
    step over
        his arm.
It cannot hurt me.
It's no longer
attached to his body.
Through slatted fingers
I stare at the limb
as my free hand
reaches toward his
blood spattered hat.
I want to make sense of it all.
Grandma says it will
never make sense.
She just wants
his skin scraped
from the front of her house.

13 Jan 05

Rated 9 (8.1) by 3 users.
Active (3): 8, 8, 9, 9, 10
Inactive (22): 1, 5, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(17 more poems by this author)

(6 users consider this poem a favorite)

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This is so horrendously gory that I love it!  Especially the line about what Grandma wants.  You're a ghoul...
 — Isabelle5

This is truly awesome.

 — unknown

Wow.  This is even better than Visitor Q.
 — Evi

Did this really happen ??
 — SweetxMemory

Yes, SweetxMemory, it really did happen. I tend to write poetry out of my experiences. Thanks for the positive comments. ~Q~
 — unknown

This sounds so very real, can picture it
 — BlkJeans

so gross, and weird i like i like.
 — unknown

Interesting. There's a lot to like about this. It's got powerful imagery; it implies much and has a feeling of backstory, of action somewhere in the background, but leaves it for the reader to color it in for themselves. I like that.

L1 I don't think it's really necessary to have the title as the first line, if that's indeed what it is. It's more a distraction than anything else.

L5-7 I always like a descending thought, if done well. I think this one is. It mirrors the action being described nicely and helps the image. Nice.

L11 This line seems a bit sparse... it might be helped to have a bit more description about the sister, not anything excessive, but just a little bit more. A suggestion only.

L19-20 I'm not sure why the line is broke as it is here. The thought is broken up unnecessarily, it feels awkward to me. Perhaps:

She just wants
his skin scraped

I suggest that because it has two complete thoughts in the two lines, instead of one being stopped short in 19 and then continued on in 20. Again, merely a suggestion.

Overall, nice work. Strong image, good macabre and yet sorrowful feeling. Well done. Welcome to the site.
 — dandy

Really.....? This disturbes me...But it is in a good way
 — meghanmidget

I see that your top rated poem(at the moment) isnt the only good one you have. I liked this one a lot...Another good one!!
 — crazy

i c dead ppl
 — unknown

wow, this too is awesome!  (;  great jorb!  (;
 — ducktape

btw, gave u a 10.
 — ducktape

 — mr_e

scarecorws scare me.
 — unknown

oh man.  this is a craZy scene.  is it true?
 — tiedtoes

The unusual chronology used to disclose events is admirable.  The subject matter is shocking and I did not like it however your composition establishes a distance whilst drawing the reader in and the result is truly awesome!
 — Kauf

 — themolly

This is fantastic with an absolutely brilliant last stanza. Perfect 10 and in my favourites
 — larrylark

why is it that i love your poems so damn much?

stop being so good, give some lesser mortal a fair go

 — Lia

 — unknown

i can't help but like this. in my favorites, you made me do it.
 — listen

though i don't like "my sister vomits." it sounds to expectant. that might just be my opinion, though.
 — listen

it makes it lose its poetic feel, i guess.
 — listen

you might have wanted that
 — listen

this is really powerful, but change the title pleeeeeeeeeeze
 — kitkat

don't change the title!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 — unknown

Wonderful. Dead people are people too. This makes me shudder/smile. Line 15 says it all. Exquisitely controlled.
 — graceinmtl

Really excellent! I like the reference to scarecrows. This poem dosen't scare me. It seems to chase my demons away with its realism. It's like the day after a battle when everything becomes clear in the day light and we just have to deal with the facts.
 — Riverwriter2

but, i'm afraid of scarecrows, too!
 — unknown

 — unknown

vivid and yet detached the same time. talented work.
 — SteelAngel


this leaves me wondering what the hell happened to him.

i like it.
 — mould_jesus

just another reminder that ,yes, speed kills. actuall i would want what grandma wants. after all, how long can you leave the skin there. good descriptive writs
 — coodaygraw

how did the skin get on the wall how did he die? ooh! scary! I LIKE IT!
 — unknown

urgh horrible.
 — Meep

 — Quichemarie

what about "Through slatted fingers" in line 10?
 — Quichemarie

it's a fine poem just the way it is.
 — unknown

Unless of course the dead body is now a zombie. Zombies are fast. 10/10
 — Henry

Oh! Interesting. I like the creative structure too!
 — misterpoet

can't put my finger on it but I love this.
 — gem_grrrl

This is interesting but I don't really feel it.  
The way you positioned L4-6 gave it a nice touch. Deft you might say.

The ending is just plain wicked. I like it. Sort of.
 — DeformedLion

ooh. nice imageryy. =]
 — chelseyjo

cool poem,
appeared randomly-
I'm a fan of dark poetry
and you've written this well..
me likes
 — JKWeb