poetry critical

online poetry workshop



The Model Poem
unknown

I’ve got spirit.
 1
I’ve got zest.
 2
I do commercials for Tampax and Crest.
 3
I’m beautiful and slender with silicone breasts.
 4
My measurement checkups always pass the test.
 5
 
 
You see me in magazines.
 6
You watch me on TV.
 7
Don’t you freaks wish you were me?
 8
I make bush loads of money.
 9
No talent. No brains.
 10
While poets and artists go slowly insane.
 11
 
 
I’m the American dream.
 12
Every man wants me.
 13
I share myself with the world.
 14
It’s ecstasy.
 15
 
 
Shopping.
 16
The gym.
 17
My fiancé’s parents are coming for dinner.
 18
Tanning salons.
 19
Bikini waxes.  
 20
Endless appointments.
 21
Diet pill stashes.
 22
 
 
Don’t you wish you were me?
 23

1 Feb 05

Rated 3 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 3, 7, 9, 9

(define the words in this poem)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Oh yeah!  Rampant humor!  This is the first purely comic poem I've run across on this board.  How well done, too!   Can you tell you've got me stoked up to see more and more such poems?  "Comedy is -hard-  Dying is easy"   THIS poem won't die; just you watch.  Thank you.

-netsky-
 — unknown

I like this piece. I thing in line 15 if you changed "It's" to "I'm" it would fit a little better. Line 18 needs to be cut down a bit to stay with the format of the stanza. Overall a good poem.
 — RugbyChick

This was a really splendid piece.  My only suggestion would be to tamper with line 3 a little bit.
 — Grendel

The first two stanzas were good and then, after line 9, it's gone.  Work on the rest of this to make it match the smashing beginning.
 — Isabelle5

I've heard this on the movie "Some Girl". Marissa Ribisi recites it to her brother.
 — unknown

haha i like this
 — unfabulous01

-unknown.
Why cant you post your real name??
You're 100% right. Her poem was amazing and it maximumly inspired me. I thought that I'd share her combination of words with the rest of the site in hopes that others would equally enjoy it. I'm glad you remember where it's from, though.
 — SpunHeart

ya sure im a guy asshole
 — unknown

OMG....I GET IT.......THATS SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 — unknown

States the obvious in lines 12-15 - then the rest needs tightening (if you'll forgive the pun) try it without 12-15 and 23 - shsrpen up 16-22 and it's good - alick and funny.
 — opal

alick - slick, sorry.
 — opal

nooo   i dont
 — unknown

love it
 — noodleman

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180417yueqin
 — unknown

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2018.4.24yangpeng
 — yangpeng

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