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stitches in in my mental health (under the quilt my mother made me)
KatinaChoo

in the morning
 1
i will try to remind you
 2
of the irony of things
 3
 
 
when we awake
 4
in a strange bed
 5
in my mother's house
 6
and you make coffee
 7
in my father's kitchen
 8
 
 
in the morning
 9
i will try to forget
 10
this moment
 11
 
 
when my plan b
 12
fails at the whim
 13
of a faint heart
 14
and you leave
 15
as quickly as you came
 16
 
 
in the morning
 17
i will do my best
 18
to understand
 19
 
 
when my brother
 20
looks at me
 21
like he wishes
 22
he didn't hate
 23
what he sees
 24

6 May 05

Rated 10 (7.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7, 8, 10
Inactive (24): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(55 more poems by this author)

(10 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

All in one breath. Lovely.

-Rixes
 — unknown

this is lovely. favorited.
 — noodleman

This is...is...I'm looking for words more original than f***ing fantastic.

I really like the repeat of "in the morning" and the structure and the double entendre at line 16.  

The ending is very strong and sad.

As for critical comment, I have none.  I can barely wait to find out who wrote this.
 — housepoppy

btw, I have recently decided that my never rating higher than a 9 is BS.  
You have just received my first 10.
 — housepoppy

Whoa.  That reminds me of The Walk of Shame.  Good.
 — themolly

pedant

total bs. the number is there to be used, not hoarded! course that goes for all of them. not to mention the converse and the contrapositive.

/pedant
 — noodleman

this is beautiful katina
 — unknown

i likey. nicely drawn.
 — kaleidazcope

Very nicely written. Good work.
 — unknown

this reminds me of Hemingway's style; very blunt and simplistic at first glance, but then, whoa! you realize that a perfect, detailed picture came through with just some simple words. very nice.
 — Catbox

wow. you have no idea how much that emans to me! hemingway is my favorite. did you know that hemingway spent more than fifty percent of the time he was writing actually reading it thorugh and crossing out unwanted words?
 — KatinaChoo

Line 12-IS this meant as a double meaning? Plan B is the morning after pill. I love it if it is. If it isn't than I still love it. Good job, wonderful vox. -BR-
 — unknown

Beautifully observed and written - full of things for a reader to think about,
 — opal

Very intriguing how you piece it all together.
 — Isabelle5

yes, l12 is a double meaning
 — KatinaChoo

I still like it, but please consider for line 4:

when we wake

Ah, alliteration.
 — Rixes

Simple and effective, the lower down the best list I get, the better the poems are!
 — unknown

thanks guys! I triedc to stay away fro alliteration in that line because it feels inconsistent with the rest of the poem. but if anyone else would like to substitue wake there in their minds qand tell me if it reads better by all means, do so.
 — KatinaChoo

!
 — unknown

yes, i think wake sounds better than awake, too.
 — Lia

The mistake in the title makes it harder for me to appreciate this...
 — unknown

I should show my brother this, it's excellent, are you published?
 — Roz

no, i'm not published
 — KatinaChoo

i saw the mistake too, but thought it was there on purpose? it really tripped me out, so i stopped thinking about it.
 — Lia

haha...it is sort of trippy isn't it?
 — KatinaChoo

The use of the word irony and morning in the first stanza is not coincidence. For that reason alone, I would score high. The lines that follow are the rest of the reasons.
 — alicedark

I love this poem.
 — Krttika

I love this title.
 — Krttika

Good poem. I only read it because of the title. Still it's a good poem. Oh and a brilliant title.
 — DeathShards

wow ........awsome...........
reality is so close here
 — Maxximmuss

Oops, the first time I read this, it sounded like inscest. Please tell I've got the wrong end of the stickā€¦
 — unknown

i love this.
 — listen

great work.
 — crepaway

awesome
 — tragicbubble

Yeah whatever. I don't like it.
 — unknown

i love
 — bloodytearsx

Love the title, genius.
 — unknown

what Mistake in the title?
 — 5foot3

gorgeous work really intriguing
 — speech_less

hehe. Not much going on in this poem, IMO.

Intentional: "And you leave as quickly as you came."?

Makes me chuckle.
 — unknown

fantabulous. i loved that!!
 — deathsdoor

this is really awesome. i like the title and repitition. the whole poem feels nostalgic but kind of sad. i like it. <3
 — missmurder

A mystery it seems.
 — unknown

powerful, particularly the way you finish the poem.  crimsonkiss
 — crimsonkiss

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