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her monday pants

- for kaleidazcope

her pants waddled up to me one day,
a cigarette between the empty space
where one of her legs ought to have been
(all of this was customary, of course;
her pants frequently awoke me from my slumber).
i grew dizzy from secondhand smoke,
but her monday pants would have none of that
and i was quickly reprimanded
as a zipper bit into my cheek.
when her pants finally romanced me
into disentangling myself
from those warm sheets
by blowing smoke into my face,
like i was nineteen again,
i prepared for the worst (and the best).
my breakfast consisted only of a bowl
of flour and salt;
i remember she said
about breakfast-in-bed:
one time her cat brought her liver;
i never spoke of it again.
in the bathroom
a jar of unopened peanut butter awaited me.
‘you're supposed to’ her monday pants coughed
(beaming with pride),
‘brush your teeth with it.’
so i did.
as i emerged from the house,
wearing the suit she had left out
made entirely of corn husks and carrot peelings,
i found her basking on a lawnchair
surrounded by garden gnomes.
i said at last
as she put on her pants
if translated into Kapampangan and read backwards this poem is actually a recipie for blueberry cheesecake.

6 Jun 05

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This is awesome
 — madderhatter

A strange poem but interesting and different. I had a lot of fun reading it! I also did translate it into Kapampangan and read it backwards. Sorry to say you were wrong. It's a recipe for strawberry cheesecake!
 — wamblicante

this is really cool
 — unknown

Your comments are hilarious...so is your poem.
 — themolly

pant elastic!
i'm as pleased as a punch
drunk wibble-woman
with a ding-a-ling in her belly.

you plucked some godful krakatoa.

the neon lit sign above the door was more irresistable than the cheeky curl of an eyelash against the crinkled collapse of charlie brown's face into chuckles.

i was smoking when i read this.
i said something like, 'certain things are a hot and green blue moon', as my left eye mouthed, '... lawn chairs as flower's bedded'.

i once gave my hoop-hula to William Tingley behind a quarter-pipe, because i couldn't think of a better name to describe it.

today i found a better name to have had described it with, i nookie.  
 — unknown

me above
 — kaleidazcope

can you make kal - kaleidazcope in the header please inuki, so this comes up when i search?
 — kaleidazcope

kaleidazcope) Done. ^^

(Also, another poem you might want to come up in searches is Wendz's "Kal" to your full name in her "after the streetsweepers leave..." poem.)
 — Inuki

Ahh, this is genious. Just what I wanted to read on a boring day.
 — Lia

 — adiscodancer

I am charmed.
 — trafalgore

Ok then. I shall take your word for it and hope you never find out where I live…:0

Which, by the way, is me saying this is awesome.
 — unknown

Clever, nicely written.

 — unknown