poetry critical

online poetry workshop

missing pigeons

I have had many lives with you
at this moment when many are dropping away
This one is enough.
I have had many lives with this woman, here.
She is sitting on a corner,
and I stop with her on the way to your house.
You reflect me too strongly
you will make me unfeeling
You will harden, you will steal away my soul
She is grateful when I stop,
understands when I walk away.
And it is enough to know that we are the same inside.
We are enough.
I lied. If I try hard enough I can make
that part of me which is love
that part of me which is you
Only I am afraid of what else will be taken with them.
We are swerving to miss pigeons and taking lives.

haven't written in a while and it shows
i need to get back in the swing of iot

9 Jun 05

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welcome back
im pleased to see you

you haven't lost your touch
there is much loveliness here to pluck and shape.

more comments when i'm not untangling ovengloves from a pair of tights.

 — unknown

hey good to see you submit something, its been a while.

it reminds me of rilke, maybe because i've been reading 'letters to a young poet' and since the tone here is similar to the way he writes;  with clarity that comes from solitude.  thanks for the intro to his work long ago.

i like this except for the last two lines/title which seems maybe too oblique for the rest of the piece, but i'm adverse to offering much critical help since i've been away from writing for a little while myself.
 — root

I like the psychological aspect of this and its sense of ambivalence. Last stanza patricularly effective. Did you know i keep pigeons for racing and last year came thirty third with my top racer Belcher in the annual round the industrial ruins of northern England race.

Larry free as a bird Lark
 — larrylark

Stunningly beautiful poem.
A 12 from me.
 — PatriciaSan

i am getting admiration but not the woman. She has no voice.
 — rumpty