poetry critical

online poetry workshop



asshole
lostkid

this is how an asshole ends up
 1
alone, sad, confussed, teary-eyed
 2
because no one wants to be
 3
an assholes friend
 4
an assholes lover non the less
 5
you cant watch a movie
 6
have breakfast, lunch or dinner
 7
without mention of what a
 8
huge asshole you are
 9
how vain you are
 10
how self involved you are
 11
you cant find happiness
 12
and when you do you make sure
 13
to let it go
 14
you dig yourself the biggest hole
 15
and you make everything so complicated
 16
everyone is starting
 17
to get tired or bored because
 18
being around you is
 19
like talking to a
 20
brick wall and thats how an asshole
 21
ends up alone, sad, confussed and teary-eyed
 22

8 Jul 05

Rated 7 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (11): 1, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(36 more poems by this author)

(3 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
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Comments:

Cheer up buddy
 — unknown

He must have some good bits of anatomy surely ?
 — larrylark

confused, not confussed.  Vain, not vane.  sure, not shure.  and, not adn.

Go back and fix the errors, Asshole!

Just kidding!  This is not well written but I find it hilarious and I can think of at least 10 people (who are not poets) that this exemplifies.
 — Isabelle5

lol yep this IS hilarious!
 — WildSymphony

teary-eyed
none-the-less
self-involved
use apostrophes and check punctuation
 — unknown

I think you mean "teary" instead of "teared".  It's a little unsettling, I think.. dig yourself the biggest hole.. teared.. sounds painful to me.
 — megabyte

i fucking love it dude....it completely reminds me of someone i know..
 — crazy

i like this poem
 — unknown

Lostkid.  Cool.  The only thing here that's lost here is the spelling.  You could stand to make better use of white space and throw in some punctuation too.  As for the assholes, they SUCK.  Fuck 'em.  They probably hate themselves when they look in the mirror anyway.  They'll get theirs.  Karma.  Now get back on this board and fix this up so people will take you seriously.  There is no excuse whatsoever, especially on a public forum, for spelling like this.  Use your spellcheck or Dictionary.com and get with it.  I'm being honest and I'm being kind.  Do you wanna work at Mc Donald's for the rest of your life?  This poem, from what I COULD make out, is hilarious.  I know quite a few that I'd like to pour some sugar down their gas tanks or stick slices of Oscar Meyer bologna all over their cars so they're left with bologna stains all over their new paintjobs.  Tell 'em all to go fuck off.  Once you fix this, email me and let me know it's back up and then I'll come back and rate it.  My email's in my profile.  Peace.  Starr
 — starr

assholes.. almost .. so close but not quite asshole 'enough' for what i was seeking to post .. hope whoever wrote this.. moved on.
 — unknown

like wow dude - left me teared eyed and puckered assholed
 — unknown

nice poem i like it  it reminds me of my ex boyfriend
 — unknown

fucking true.
 — unknown

wow very powerful
 — unknown

true :(
 — unknown

Reminds me of me :3
 — Kitteh

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