poetry critical

online poetry workshop



physics for beginners
username

my high-school physics teacher told me:
 1
"since atoms are mostly
 2
electron cloud by volume,
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speaking literally,
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that thing between your ears
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is mostly empty space."
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in the same class, i learned that:
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by the same principle
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when two objects come into contact,
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speaking literally,
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it is just forces pulling in different directions.
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i thought when you said,
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"keep in touch!"
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i took it literally,
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when you only meant it figuratively.
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but if i learned anything from physics,
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the reality is
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i am the one that took it figuratively,
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and you meant it.
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28 Jul 05

Rated 9 (7.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 1, 9
Inactive (4): 6, 8, 10

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Comments:

ah, very cute, very sassy, and very scientific. love the idea, hate science.
 — Lia

yeah, you almost lost me, but brought me back with the last line :) nice
 — kitkat

science hates you too!
 — unknown

i hate physics, but love your poem. the opening stanza took hold of me and still won't let me go.
 — bear

i want your sass.
 — unknown

Superb opening stanza and the rest is good too. Original and well written
 — larrylark

this isn't a poem, but then again life isn't poetic
 — BabblinJoe

science hates you too!
– unknown

as lame as that was, it made me smile.
 — Lia

mean girls made me smile.
 — unknown

significantly reworked version. better? cheesier? happier?
 — username

very realistic, nice work.
 — Roz

what is realistic?
 — unknown

figuratively and literally speaking, this is crap.


user refuse
 — unknown

amazing amazing amazing
 — ilikeblue

why haven't more people read this. it's excellent.
 — unknown

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