|Zero Equals Infinity
I love staying in bed until lunch,
dreams you can only
dream at 11 a.m.
I'm not lazy, I'm free.
zoning in on just one of a million fragments on
my house as far
across as I
A couple days of unemployment
then I see
how never living free enslaved me.
11 Aug 05
Rated 9 (7.9) by 2 users.
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Hahaa, the way I've felt all summer.
Woke up at 12:34 today
Thanks for making me feel not-so-bad about myself.
i'm oddly reminded of the movie office space, which is a great flick... and i love the fact that people can see working and making money is not the only way to live your life and be happy!
o yea, and i like the title a lot
Strange thing is I watched Office Space (for the gazillionth time) THE NIGHT before I wrote this.
Thankyou for the nice comments
ho ho ho
he he he
this is fucking funny
hooray for office space!
So much truth there. like this poem.
This is good, but I think that lines 16-18 would make a stronger beginning than end. Ending it at 15 would leave this reader in a better place.
I will think about that. Thank you poppy
i love this. especially the first stanza. and the last one made me chuckle. i kinda like that at the end, because it brings into focus the whole point and premise of the piece, without interfering with the great relaxed mood in the first 2 stanzas. you don't know exactly what you're reading about til you get to that, and i think it's better that way.
love love love this!
With a title as you have, this could be a lot better. The poem isn't good. It might have a good theme, but that's all.
The title, however, shows promise.
That was mean.
And this is good. It's not great, but good nonetheless.
I love the title and I love sleeping late and relaxing, I'm not so sure about this poem though...
I really love this. The internal rhythm and pattern are lovely!
Thank you eversomuch.
No hurrah, for the really grotesque layout.
that was a bit rude
to mean the repetition?
I'm trying new things lately. It's not really my style, but I think if you play with something that you find annoying, it will become less of an earache...
Read it out loud, pausing at the end of each line and you'll see what I mean about grotesque. Ps: I'm not here to pander to your ego, I say it how I see it, honestly and directly, it's your call what you do with that comment.
you're an asshole
why did someone put that link there?
Excellent. "then I see/how never living free burdened me"
Oh! to be free.
Like this one ,it says a lot about how we allow ourselves to be fettered by the social and economic systems which presumably are developed for our well being. If you believe the last part of that sentence then you'll believe anything.
Larry in chains Lark
Nice, but "free" is not the best lexical choice, in my pinion. Stretch for something more unexpected.... synonymous but with a tilted edge. And the last line is weak. Rework it. Reach for an offbeat image to express the same thought. These are my suggestions + no offense meant.
PS: Love the title
I'll mull it all over
stop butchering maths!
this is a great poem.
my only gripe is line 5. I really think it could do without it.
great perspective on inner freedom
you must continue to explore this
thanks all. sorry, but line 5 is my fav.
Wow, this is a re-write, isn't it? Well done! It's much clearer and concise.
yes it is. thanks isa
The poem paints a picture of (relative) freedom. The freedom of which you speak is a lie. It leads to poverty, and that's not freedom either. I really don't mind your opinion, but I do mind that you have to tell us.
then mind your arrogance as well, sir.
touche. There is a joy in freedom, even the lack of responsibility can give us new meanings and an ability to find a novel purpose.
i've read this before but forgot to 10-fave.
very nice and true.
Thank you. It's nice to read this again. It's been so long. Thanks again.