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Full Expression
Riverwriter2

For centuries now, that speck of time that feels eternal in our limitations,
 1
We have been in here fighting
 2
and dancing in circles, looking for a way out
 3
of the social perception, that is crowding us in until we are all calling out "woe..."
 4
as the boat at the edge of the world
 5
almost tips off of the map
 6
and suddenly I realize that we need
 7
to have the realization of  the creation
 8
of a place where we no longer know the  boundaries
 9
where we are  hungry and satisfied
 10
with the questions that lead us
 11
around and through the universe of consciousness,
 12
not only around the realityof matter,
 13
so that we suddenly realize we are standing
 14
not on the edge of the earth
 15
but still crawling at the bottom of the ocean
 16
and I want to swim to the surface and see
 17
what there is outside of this
 18
dark abyss of  our consciousness
 19
so that our eyes begin to widen, as we are born again
 20
from the womb where we have felt  both safe
 21
and had dreams
 22
of that which was beyond,
 23
but we were not yet formed
 24
enough to walk in that world
 25
and to understand what love and expression can flower into
 26
when they reach that dimension of creation
 27
– outside of the mind and finally in
 28
the universe
 29
of our full expression
 30

15 Aug 05

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Comments:

What has happened to people's names?

Is this an unknown or are names just falling away to the side?  It's probably just me.

This is a fine work.  You've obv given a lot of thought to the topic in a philosophic (personal) way.  Have you ever read about Giordano Bruno? (d. 1600)  "Full Expression" is Platonic and depends on a holistic viewpoint of our reality.  I don't see anything to critique except my usual end-of-the-line thing:  when you are revising or proofreading, take the last word of every line you've written - it should form a sort of poem of its own, and is very handy for ensuring a comprehensible flow for the reader.  For instance:

-Limitations
-And (x)
-Us
-"Woh" ( needs maybe an archaic wail, perhaps, "Woe" ?)
-Map
-A (x)
-Boundaries
-Us
-Of (x)
-Matter
-Earth
-Ocean
-This
-Consciousness
-Again
-Of
-Walk
-Into
-In (x)
-Universe
-Full expression

excellent work
 — cynthmala

Are you a philosophy student. Overworked,overblown
 — larrylark

Thanks for the tip cynthmala. I don't know what has happened to peoples names. I wrote this under my username so it should have shown up. No I do not think I have read Gioradano Bruno; I will though.  I have read various perspectives by philosophers on the topic of cosmology especially.  I have read a little bit of Plato, he always comes up and I find my own philosophy  has paralells with such ancient  greek philosophers. But Iam really just playing around here.  I was at the end of a tiring workday, and needed to write about what flowed, which was escape.

The "Woe", I could not think for the life of me what that arcaisc woe looks like, thnx.
With regards to the form... Actually I try to do that sometimes and other time I try to just have is written in the rhythm that is in my head or leave off on a word that will lead the reader tot he next line. But for this one I totally agree, and it looks much nicer!  I really appreciate this kind of criticism, it helps!

Larrylark, no I am not a philosophy student I am acutally a sociology/anthropology student, but I have at times taken my papers to the realm of philosophy because our perspective of the world is so socially constraucted and according to our material reality simultaneously. They seem to form each other.  But your overworked, overblown, comment, I found a bit rude. If you read my recponse to cythmala, you will uderstand  that I am really just having fun. And actually it's just the opposite , I wasn't thinking very deeply about it, I was just  doing the freewriting thing.
 — Riverwriter2

Maybe my comment was a trifle out of sorts but i still don't see much fun here.
 — larrylark

Oh , sorry.
 — Riverwriter2

yeah. I think you thought too hard.
 — unknown

hardly,
 — unknown

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