poetry critical

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at first there were strings.
the universe was made from vibrations
for those who believe that God was a Romantic
and glide cross the slope of a fretboard,
rust and blood--
all passion pre-empts madness
they talked a lot about the softness
of heroin eyes
Van-Gogh's harrowing china blues
that stare back, defeated
as if we were the mirror to your soul-
and hollows,
cadaverous valleys in the gaunt geography
of your face
swallowing the shadows
of dimly-lit clubs
and shrunk back into your frame
(we did not mean to misunderstand)
And in time it all unplugs
a sudden withdrawal, midframe
while we still craned our necks
to understand
But the earth will trample brittle souls
And if you peer close enough,
Seattle still grieves for you
nothing but a wan acid drizzle
to compensate for the lush tears
of thin wraithlike girls
and the millions of melodies that sounded afterwards
with the poignant discord
of a primitive heart-
It is beyond us to ask why
but for who?

26 Aug 05

Rated 10 (8.5) by 1 users.
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Inactive (5): 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10

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I really dig your poems.
 — unknown

Not saying mine is any better in fact mine is completely different but for similar subject matter, check out my "UNTITLED."

Oh and I like yours.
 — TheJediPimpz

I would like this more if it wasn't about Nirvana.
 — lieskilllies

i do miss kurt. i wonder if his baby is in detox?

 — unknown

This is so flowing and still, sort of like looking into a pool that looks calm and seeing the things moving below without making a ripple on the top.
 — Isabelle5

his baby is 12....and is this the place to discuss this?
 — TheJediPimpz

 — unknown

l19-22 is crafted so perfectly. Its got a good rythm.

I love the feeling this gives me. its got substance and passion. Well done.
 — madderhatter

I saw the title and thought oh dear a lame poem abou Kurt Cobain, but I had to swallow my thoughts (is that possible? hmm) as this is truly beautiful (9)
 — kitkat

a great find this is.

long live KurN CobaiT.
: )
 — fractalcore