poetry critical

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I fuckin like you

as much as i try,
i can't get away,
it's you i think of
every fucking day.
and i wanna play it off
like i dont care,
about your stupid smile,
and georgous damn hair.
it's so damn true.
and i fucking hate it...
i fuckin like you

30 Aug 05

Rated 4.5 (6) by 2 users.
Active (2): 5, 8
Inactive (48): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 3, 5, 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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Liking someone is a great thing.  I know how you feel, BUT "fuck" is such an overused word. I hate it in the title and I hate how you use it 3 times, not including the intro.  An honestly if you are trying to impress someone, do you think they want you to cuss in a love poem to them?
 — bear

i like this poem.  awesome (10).

 — ducktape

when i write poems... i don't write them with the intent of actually showing them to the subject, bear.  I write these as an expression of my feelings, of what's going on inside of me.  I know you understand what im implying.

and ducktape... thanks
 — hearmyheart

Yes, I do understand you, and I respect that. I was just saying my opinion, unaware of the fact that you will not show the subject. Sorry about that.
 — bear

No worries.  The comment, nonetheless, is always apreciated.
 — hearmyheart

this is so raw--beautiful, so insanely disorganized that it's perfectly structured if that makes any sense. i think the repetition of the word "fuck" is the most necessary thing in the poem considering every time i've felt this way fuck was definitly the word that came to mind
 — unknown

i absolutly love this! wonderful beautiful. i feel this 100% maybe fix the spelling mistakes. but i think the rawness really belts out your emotions, overall awesome job. going on my fav's when i get time to sign in and all.
- SweetPain -
 — unknown

the rhymes in this poem are a simplistic choice... but the last two lines are really true for most people, and seem to fit perfectly
 — unknown

i like this too. u can't like it ducky, it has NAUGHTY WORDS in it!!!!!

i'll tell ur mommy!
 — Lia

dont like the header, though.   :)
 — Lia

this poem is fucking great. honestly.
 — aerol

nice poem. really.
 — hank

See, this is what I don't get. Anyone could write this. Trite rhyme, riddled with profanity. Where is the artistry in this?
I just don't get it.
 — unknown

what's georgous hair? sounds kind of gross.
 — unknown

you suck
 — tiedtoes

awful disclaimer at the beginning.

why would you do that?
 — tiedtoes

if u dont giv an fuk bout gramer or spelin mabey yous shuld tri nothr hobbie.
 — unknown

I hate intros that declare the poet does not care about his/her mistakes!

THEN DON'T POST HERE!  We are about making things better.

The word Fuck has no purpose here except to show us your limited vocabulary.  You can get away with using it once but this thing is peppered with it, therefore diluting it's value as a word.  Fuck is not an adjective!  
 — Isabelle5

Unknown commenter who wrote like there is no spell check - HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
 — unknown

im gad u fond me comint funnie.
 — unknown

hahah Love the Poem ....its stright to the point.... and simple....just how the rest of this fucking life should b
 — unknown

i like this alot its really good!!!!!!!!!
 — unknown

i don't think the f word is a very good adjective, but it sorta gets the point across easily in a sort of rushed/humiliated way.  do u know what i mean??  it's like saying:  "The reason I laugh uncontrollably at everything you say, call you on the phone just to talk, and stutter every time I try to ask you a question........IS BECAUSE I LIKE YOU!  OKAY? there, i SAID it!"  lol.  well, isn't it?  (;

i still say that checking for spelling errors is constructive criticism.  you wouldn't want to publish a poem or give a love poem to a special someone with spelling/grammatical errors in it, would you? (I wouldn't)  Even if you're not planning to show it to anyone but yourself, it's good practice for writing and it'll help you to write better poetry.  Also good just to do that.

I still like your poem and I actually still give this a 10 and it's still on my favorites list.  (;

take care!
 — ducktape

i like fuckin you!
 — unknown

i fuckin like this
 — unknown

i do really like this.
i just wish a better word could have been used in your expression.
 — slowtesque

When shit poems like this get a 10, it truly devalues the other poems that get 10's.

You might as well all write any crap at all.  Oh, and be sure to tell us you don't give a fuck what we think about it.
 — unknown

i love it..so cold
 — bloodytearsx

Wow this is good i like it ive never read a poem with fuck in it! i love it
 — unknown

I love this...I get this shyt alot bout the people I like and shyt....It drives me wild...Very good...Im adding this to my favorites and giving it a 10.....
 — GoThIcSlUt69

thanks for comments, and critiques are noted... i wont change it tho... I wrote on my emotions, literally, i got on the site and wrote what i felt, and i wouldn't want to tamper with something that literally came straight from the heart
 — hearmyheart

It's like a song. You can hear a sound here.
  I like this.
 — Hear

I really fuckin' love this man Its blunt expose of raw emo puts it in a class of its own. I mean ,like WOW
 — larrylark

i need to write a poem with fuck in the title. then people would actually read it.
 — unknown

i really suggest dropping the intro. it is just provoking us.
 — Lia

Hmm there is always a better word then a cuss word yet to show the complete anarchy of love there was nothing better, I personally think the header was unecasary once again the rough writing for me just added to the atmosphere of the poem...
 — Ben

Meh, I liked the poem actually, it's just the header about not comenting on your grammar that wrecks it, but if you ignor that, I liked it.
 — smiddy

I think it's kind of clever. I don't think it's here to emphasize the "f" word, but it's kind of comedic the way he presents it. I've not heard many lines better than "about your stupid smile, and georgous damn hair". If I had a girlfriend, and didn't feel so guilty when I swore, I would tell her she had gorgeous damn hair. I truly would. I like the way that swearing is used comedically (I hope that was the intent) but I think the header needs to go. It detracts from everything. I won't say it's the best, because as far as poetry goes, I'm not sure this one will be a classic, but it's great for a few reads and maybe a laugh with some buddies.
 — Doulos

I think this is really good.  Lose the header though as that seriously devalues this.  But I have felt like this before and it captures brilliantly when you’re in love and you don't want to be because it's a bad love, but it's the one emotion you have no control over.  Is that what our getting at?

And don’t worry about the prudes with regards to the use of the word Fuck as this definitely fits in and isn’t gratuitous, it displays the anger and annoyance of the helplessness brilliantly.  I posted a poem this morning before reading this and may even change mine slightly to draw reference to this later tonight.

Thanks again.  (9)
 — TheJediPimpz

OK OK, the header is gone...better now...
 — hearmyheart

http://poetry.tetto.org/read/21419/     ; --that should expllain MUCH, thanks Jedi Pimp
 — hearmyheart

what has happend to this place? I leave for a month, and all of a sudden, shitty poems like this are getting 10s?? what's WITH that?? 1*
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

btw, never ever post something like this again. Not to mention how CLICHE it is, but to overuse an overused word is just a sin. It should be against the law on PC.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

MywrdsRmyAiR - I don't get you.  This is good, the F word is used as you would think so it's right and well placed.  Go and have a think - I looked at your area and there are many of the bands you said are influences that have used the F word more gratuitously.  Please remove your 1 this doesn't deserve it.

And banning comment like this is insane!!!  Where would you get that from!!  There are more ills in the world to cure than a bona-fide member of the English language.

Anyway back to the poem - much better since you removed that silly opening statement, I've raised it to a 10 (much to combat the 1's as anything else).  It's almost a form of discrimination when someone would see a word and gives it a score purely because of that!!!  I can get that someone may not like this poem but it’s never as bad as a 1!!!

Sorry for the rant.  Jedi.
 — TheJediPimpz

thanks again for stickin up for me... and i think the 1 was cruel and uncalled for
 — unknown

I don't get it. It is OK but not amazing.
 — unknown

agreed upon, i dont think this poem is that great, and i wish i didnt publicize it now... but i guess it was just my raw emotion when i wrote it...
 — hearmyheart

I like this one alot.  Best abstract poem I've read in a while.
 — voice1

oh jeez. for the sake of not being cruel- i'll give it a three. but i dont' mean ban fuck because of it being a bad word, but because in poetry, it's okay to hit it hard and head-on to give things a punch once in a while, but to put it in more than once to backup words such as 'hate' or 'like' and 'day', it just doesn't pull through with the punch and only sorely kills it. use words like 'im head-over heals for you' it's better. maybe not. don't take my advice on word for word. but i mean, this is certainly not worth a ten. certainly not. maybe not worth a ONE, but not worth a 10. the best critics on here, NEVER give out tens. 9s are so RARE. if u get an 8, that's fuckin' great.  So don't be over-zealous and throw away tens to just any old poem, save em. and this poem, banning, yeah yeah, i know. i was exhausted and just mad at the crapiness of it last night. and don't bring music into poetry. music is a different type of expression. and so what if there's cuss words in it, they don't use it every other word or so. normally not much at all, unless in the chorus.  an example of an over-used cuss word in a poem:
'i fucking like you're fucking hair"
L4 change fuck to "blessed", like a cussword, but gets the point across more clean.
L8: no damn. it's fine without the damn.
L10, change damn to fuck for the punch you were looking for.
L11 get rid of the fuck, don't replace the word.
L12, replace fucking with bloody.

now. rhyming.
no no no no no.
never ever rhyme unless ur a fucking GOD at it. Like Gnormal. just don't do it. It totally decreases your poem by many means, and takes away from the message. just don't do it. just don't.
and i won't say more on this- though if i had the time i would.
hmwk calls, so please take into consideration my comments.

and don't blow ur head up because of the ten's. this is NOT a ten.

not even 7 worthy.

not even 6.

maybe a 4 at best.

but i'm sticking with a 3.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

What a load of cobblers. This is shit.  Try using another word instead of fuck.  
Fuck means to have sexual intercourse.  Look at it this way.

I having sexual intercourse like you

as much as i try,
i can't get away,
it's you i think of
every having sexual intercourse day.

and I wanna play it off
like i dont care,
about your stupid smile,
and georgous damn hair.

it's so damn true,
and i having sexual intercourse hate it...
i having sexual intercourse like you
 — unknown

really not worth fucking commenting on.
 — unknown

i think it's a little... trite, honestly.
 — shakeit

fuck is slang, it can be used at a verb...to fuck...a noun...you sorry fuck...adjective...fucking bitch, it's not just the act of sexual intercourse...

Interpretation is not just what a dictionary says...then metaphors wouldnt make sense... POOR ARGUEMENT...ass (and i don't mean the donkey)
 — unknown

Hey, no arguing, everyone is entitled to their own opinion
 — hearmyheart

hey, my wordsrmyair, ur 14, grow up, read some more poetry, and make a suitable comment, instead of bitching about trite rhyme schemes, there is a message in every piece, did you ever chose to search below the surface of this one...
 — unknown

OMG. age ain't NOTHING but a NUMBER. You effing grow up. God- I can crit a piece of poetry well enough. You don't be such an effing coward and be afraid to yell off a 14 year old (almost 15 for ur information) anonymously. God. I was trying to IMPROVE the poem, whereas you try to keep it in an undeveloped state. I was trained in my poetic knowledge by mould_jesus. A brilliant poet. And InMyBlood. another brilliant poet. So go fuck a tree. Fly a kite. whichever u prefer. Or if this sounds better, go to hell in a handbasket.
Oh, and rhyme scheme does affect poetry, a terribly rhyming poem can totally muck things up making word usage forced and not as brilliant as it could've been in free-form. So don't limit your words, expand your mind. Don't confine yourself to a box that limits the general audience image of poetry as rhyming little kiddy things- be great. free-verse. it's 1.) easier 2.) better. 3.) easier to create a rhythm in your lines. Such as Iambic: a metrical foot consisting of one short syllable followed by one long syllable or of one unstressed syllable followed by one stressed syllable (as in above).
uhm, *thinking of other types of rythm* oh shit. Can't think of the others, but ask noodleman, he'll remember. I lost my notes from last year when we covered this- so y'kno, it tends to slip ones mind. .
anyways. Yes, Rhyming does increase the rhythm of a poem, but should only be used if ur FUCKING GREAT at it. Gnormal. lol. check out some of his poems. You'll see what i mean.

anyways, to the unknown again,
do not diss without actual credibility. no one will take u seriously if ur unknown. u have no credits, whereas atleast on here, i've built up some sort of rep. and am respected by many for my writing.
 — unknown

that was me ^
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

You've probably never felt this way before, so you can't really relate to the piece... not trying to be mean or anything, but i doubt at your age you've felt compassion and a true sense of love... i mean... your only in to your like 4th week of high school right...
 — hearmyheart

oh. . . my. . .. . GOD. why do people assume AGE means one cannot feel LOVE? for YOUR information, Little over a year ago, i was diagnosed with severe depression that blossomed from the start of my first gay relationship with my ex who i split from six months after my starts of therepy. I was madly in love with her. AM* madly in love with her. You cannot say that I do not feel pain when I see her for the first time, that my heart does not break with envy when i see her hold her new love. You cannot SAY that I do NOT cry when I kiss the one I do not belong to. Rejection and love coincide hand in hand.
and goodd, highschool has NOTHING to do with how mature and intelligent I am. FOR UR INFO AGAIINNN, being an only child- i tend to be above my years.
so GOD, doubt all u want, i do not care- but i have felt a "true sense of love". maybe you haven't, for if you had, you would come up with something of much higher standards of creativity for such a sorely lacking piece of "poetry", if that's what you can call this. . .
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

Wow! Its like a vulgar shitty hallmark card, but worse! Coy teen emotions mingling lack of experience. Fantastic, we'll nail this one up there right next to Jesus.

Thinking about someone a lot, and liking their hair. Damn and everyone made is seem so complex. Have fun picking dried semen out of your hair in high school if this is what you think about love and affection.

Sounds pretty superficial and childish to me.

If I ever received a poetic abortion like this I would break off the authors thumbs and jam them into the authors eyes so they could never write again. I think anyone would do the same.

Next time you puke, save a little bit and smear it on some paper. It will be infinitely better than this poem. (1)
 — InMyBlood

Two words.

Told you.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

well i think it's bullshit how this poem is getting rated so low and how people are assuming their almighty metaphors and textual feelings are more meaningful and not to mention the irony in labeling this poem cliche. i like your poem. i like it a lot. fuck everyone else, i'm giving it a 10 to bring the rating up to something more deserving.
 — SpunHeart

this is still crap. and i can't believe some poets that i thought had some good stuff and good ideas actually like this. god this place is spiraling down.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

this reminds of my youth;i like
 — crepaway

Im sorry if you were looking for a more accuate raiting, SpunHeart, you would be at a loss. Scores can't go negative.
 — InMyBlood

i still say a fuckin 14 year old cant relate... YOU'VE NEVER LIKED SOMEONE THAT YOU COULDNT...don't boys still have cooties?
 — hearmyheart

you spelled gorgeous wrong.
 — aubergine

When someone is proved wrong and then refuses to admit they are wrong that person is an asshole. If animals can feel love and affection im sure younger people can. Hearmyheart you act like you're 12, but thats beside the point anyway. I guess what I'm really trying to say is no one would or ever will love you, so in turn I'd thing you have no idea what love is.
 — InMyBlood

i still dont think she can relate, and i dont believe being opinionated is necessarily an assenine trait
 — hearmyheart

Well considering assenine isn't a word, it probably isn't.
 — InMyBlood

Oh god. . .HE'S BEING OPINIONATED?? helloooooo look at urSELF. and yeah- to a lesbian, fuck boys having coodies. What world did you grow up in? *sighs* don't you read the news anymore? it's my generation that is fucking boys way too much and ending up repopulating ur planet. So don't say we don't know anything. And IMB is right. YOU don't know what love is. I do. I know that my heart broke when we split, and I know that it was love i felt when I looked in her eyes. Fuck you for thinking you can waltz up to random people and say because they're not 20 they don't know what love is. God, for fucking sakes, I know what love is. Do yoouuu read my mind? Nope. i didn't think so.
And ur poem.

and I can so crit a poem better than you can. In fact, I can write a poem better than you can.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

HAHA, i like ur comment on not being able to like someone you can't fuck. Haha, that's so funny because i did fuck her.  a lot. So u know what, don't assume u know all, ur not a fucking omniscient god, so don't pretend to be one. Asshole.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

my bad on the last comment. U meant something else- that is what happens when u cannot read the computer screen. Lol. Yeah, but i have been in excruciating pain over liking someone i could never have. Can't have. oh well- the pain isn't worth describing to you.
 — unknown

nothing short of phenomenal.
 — Roz

You're Joking Right?
 — unknown

Well I guess that it takes all sorts to make our wonderful language progress. Sometimes I have to wonder in what direction though.
 — WilliamGruff

i like it and all but the swereing makes the person seem un intellegens and like they have a low vocabulary and it just doesent seem sefisticated to me but its ok i guess.
 — unknown

You like me?
 — OKcomputer

this poem sucks canal water out of a dead dog's ass.
 — noodleman

you understand of course i mean that in the nice way.
 — noodleman

the last stanza rhymes.

the rest dont.

cause i didn't read em
 — OKcomputer

Ahahahahahahahahahahaha. Noodleman, you are wonderful. As is InMyBlood. Thank GOD some poets still have common SENSE on whether a poem sucks ass or NOT! this clearly DOES.
 — MywrdsRmyAiR

it would be even more amazingly great if you fixed your spelling errors...

like.... 'gorgeous'

but... its definetely on my favorites now.
 — misspanda

i understand that you're trying to get your message across and the emotional impact of this message, but the fact is that your use of fuck is cheapened by the overuse of it.
there are only 12 lines in your poem and fuck is used 3 times.
thats every four lines. you don't even have four stanzas.

i am giving this a two because it's not as awful as it could be.
but it is terribly immature.
and also terribly terrible.
 — ileviyou

 — topop

I find it intriguing how much attention this poem is getting. Reflect on it.
 — graceinmtl

to those of you that claim that because there is profanity this can not be considered poetry, i ask if you've ever read denis johnson, he is by far one of the greatest poets of our day... check em out
 — hearmyheart

I don't understand the people who like this poem. It's not good, not original, the rhyme scheme is horrible, and the subject matter is horribly cliche. More about the ways in which this poem is not worth a 10, later, when I have more time.
 — claudia

This is something a 5th grader would put out.  You use profanity in place of adjectives and adverbs.  "Fuck" is an otherwise good word.  It's funny and it can be used for almost anything.

But not in poetry.

Suck my winkie woo.
 — Aziel

everyone here needs to lighten up a bit, and understand that what someone writes obviosuly means something to them, so let's try to not to be a dick about it shall we?
 — IgbySleeps

I think it's appealing for a small verse to use the F word this way.
It pretty much characterizes the young male's regard for this trap he finds himself drawn to.  As such this is a pretty fresh approach to an old old topic.    
Small verse rules because it -sticks- very keenly.   Well done.
 — netskyIam

It's Poetry *Critical,* so it doesn't really matter to me that the poem means something to the author. It should be about critiquing the poem, not patronizing the author.
 — claudia

if not for the continuous use of fuck in the poem, it would make a decent hallmark card
 — mr_e

Yo...why all the Hate in the poem you are telling someone you like them if you were to give me that poem i throw it at you...You wanna be sweet but at the same time your acting like you dont care..
 — unknown

i don't care much for the first two stanzas, but the third ties it together very nicely. i like it. i give it a 7.
 — emptyepitaph

This is pissing me off.  How is it that crap like this gets commented on and good artists (hobby) are almost completely ignored?  This is one of many immature pieces that I have read on this site.  Oh, if you want a carrer in throwing shit get into politics.

I really like this poem but it is spoiled by the amount of "fucking " in it.
For the first stanza try every single day instead of fucking day and can't you think of of some better more descriptive words for the last 2 lines?
You write well but we were always taught in school that to swar showed ignorance of better vocabluary.
I'm not being funny, just trying to make your poem that bit better. I know you could do better than fucking, have a go.
 — marieF

what can i say? that's so fucking true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 — lazyduck187

this poem would be shitty if it weren't for that last stanza it ties it so beautifully like a shitty present wrapped in great paper it just seems better 8
 — turtlepoet

oh and marie you can never have "TOO" much fucking ;)
 — turtlepoet

i agree wit  – MywrdsRmyAiR this sux big time it reminds me of sum lil girls diary entry oh n i mean dat in a bad way...
 — UrbanAng3l

I love the way this portrays how pissed off you can get when you don't want to like someone so much.  I don't know understand why you wish you wouldn't have publicized it.  The measured language of emotion...isn't that what poetry is?  I think you showed your emotion well!
 — polly74

uhmm.. ok
 — sabz3003

L6 don't
L8 gorgeous

honestly, i can understand a few typos, but not when they are practically in almost all of your poems you have posted in an online workshop.

but, to repeat some of the comments already written, i fuckin' like this poem.
 — inutile

this is the only poem of yours that i really like, probably because i choose to read this with a touch of irony, which, whether that was your intention or not, makes the poem highly amusing to me.
 — inutile

thanks again...  
 — hearmyheart

why do you thank me, and ignore that fact that i pointed out typos?

what to you gain from this site if you refuse to edit?
 — inutile

this is how i feel bang on good job
 — draderman

 — unknown

hey, it's blunt honost raw emotion... not articulated as well as it could have been, but it's raw, and that's good to see (10)
 — unknown

this is a bad-ass fuckin poem..
 — unknown

wow i love it!
 — unknown

This is very fucking straight to the fucking point, aye..

Good fucking stuff :D
 — CervusWright

this is great! wow! nice! like most epople like it, like ducktape! love it! ~favorites! and a 10~ bravo!
 — unbreakable

I think this poem is great. The the f word helps to portray a certain feeling youre trying to get across.
 — unknown

i like this lots and lots :)
 — allthoughts

the tone is infantile and really very crude and immature.  Too bad so many users don't know what real poetry is, because I'd give it anything but a ten.
 — unknown

punctuation, spelling errors--- take pride in your work!
 — unknown

this must be a brilliant piece of work

in that it can generate so much intelligent comment

therefore i guess i can say i like it too. its really fukin friggin wonderful

David Thorning
 — unknown

i've felt that way before
 — unknown

I fuckin like you too.
 — TheYoungCrow

I KNOW what you're talking about
 — morbidmalace

Kill the cliched profanity.
 — boromir4121

Using profanity is acceptable at times, and can sometimes even add to the over-all feeling of the poem.  But you stepped over that limit.
 — fallinforyou

This is so awsome lol!     I Love it!
 — unknown

when your old and feeble and become a nervous reck, i hope your head falls through your ars and breaks your fuckin neck
 — unknown

the poem is pretty much fine but plzzzzzzzzz don't swear
 — unknown

hey, just because fuck is overused in American popular culture doesn't mean we should ban it, because that does the same thing as banning it because it's a "cuss word".
Don't censor art,
I like this. Very close to the heart, pure emotional.
 — SenorSin

This is the worst fuckin poem i've ever heard
 — unknown

Got soap?  Wow...u gotta wash that "f" word out of this poem.  This is Poetry Critical, not the Ladies room at Wendy's.  You can't think of a better adjective than the overplayed "f" word that seems to permeate common every day conversations at any random bus stop?  It's nice that you like someone to this degree, but I think that you can like them without the profanity.  Save that for when you have your first fight.  
 — starr

I like fuckin you
 — unknown

i think its good, but a little too, straight up for me...but i still really like it :)
 — BarkatS

I like the title.  I like to tell my boyfriend, "I fuckin' love you" sometimes.
It just has something extra intense about it doesn't it?
 — unknown

well, sometimes the only proper intellectual response is a big fuck you!  what is all the fucking fuss about that word?

this was a fun fucking piece. ending a sentence in a fucking preposition aside, i enjoyed the read.

thank you very fucking much
 — ilenelush

Of all the ways to write this, I find this pretty fucking generic.

You like her, she has a nice smile and hair. Got it.
 — rocket

 — unknown

Okay...I "fuckin' " like it.  I realized this today when someone at work said "I fuckin' like you!" to me.  I instantly thought of this poem and realized that I was a little hard on my critique.  I came back, read it, shared it with my co-worker (we both laughed) and I have to make this better than the prudish critique I gave it yesterday.  I "fuckin' " like it!  
 — starr

I think only certain people can appreciate this poem.
I love the word fuck. It lets out so many different feelings. Like when you just don't know how you feel or how to put it into words your just like...fuck. I wish I would've written this poem =)
 — unknown

too vulgar; however, the vulgarity adds still something to the attraction and the relationship... Amazing how such a small piece with few expression can sum up the entirety of this Truth...
 — unknown

need to clean out the bad word OK.........
 — unknown

This is nothing more than an angry rant.
 — Fox

not so bad. a direct set of words that play nice together. it's hallmark for haircuts, but that's not a bad thing. when the titanic goes down, you can send each other best wishes.
 — joey

i like it. . . its okay well okay its good. everyone's felt like this and as for the cussing. . . it just wouldnt flow right w/o them words.
 — LycanStorm

i think it is a good poem. i probably wouldn't cuss but i understand that was the true feelings of the poem and i respect that it was truthful. Because the feelings are so true and no where near mild, i think it is ok that you have used that word in your poem.
 — onyx12098

It's been years since I've read this poem, let alone been on this site, and rereading all of these comments arouses one consideration...

How is it that people consider themselves to be an authority on what constitutes "good" or "appropriate" poetry.  Poetry, if anything, is feeling turned in to form, and if, in my adolescence, these words are what gave a voice to my most immediate feelings then that, in itself, should constitute the "good."  This, above anything, is a community where we might hear different voices, not point fingers at voices different than our own.

Because someone values this particular expression it in no way necessitates their stupidity, but rather illuminates their intellectuality; for, in the least, showing their having the capacity to sympathize with the novelty a 17 year old finds himself exposed to love (...and anyone at this point saying to themselves that this cannot constitute love should similarly consider the authority they believe themselves to have when prescribing love).

Above learning anything about myself, I've learned how a simple site might enlist an unwarranted arrogance in people that consider themselves too intelligent to ever enjoy another's perspective.  The only appropriate perspective is knowing that ours is one of many.

The people on this site that believe themselves to "know" good poetry are a FUCKING joke.  You only know yourself.
 — hearmyheart

could go for a couple more 'fuks' in here.

fuk is such a great word

damn is lame

fuk the damn

keep it to fuks and fuking

go fuk all the way to the fuking fuk max


unknown fuk
 — unknown