poetry critical

online poetry workshop

The Nazi Rage

My Nazi pen
and my Nazi bag;
A Nazi Jew
and a Nazi flag.
Mix Nazi in
and Nazi out;
"Heil Hitler"
is a Nazi shout.
My Nazi boots
and Nazi shirt;
With Nazi pride
and Nazi hurt.
Murder is
the Nazi rage;
And I am
the Nazi Paige.
My Nazi pants
are uber cool,
So shut your face
You Nazi fool!

25 Oct 05

Rated 2 (6.3) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (3): 1, 3, 8, 8, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(51 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


I got it till the last line and then I wondered who was speaking. Your intention? Interesting subject. Brave or idiotic? I can't yet decide
 — Trish77

There are certainly several Nazi, Hitler, Jew poems floating about today.  Rather unusual.  Why do you want to focus on Nazi's in a poem?  They were the enemy!  Perhaps you are too young to remember that!
 — Isabelle5

quite wonderful. Bold. Daring. Edgy. The format is perfect. The last line is a blessing.
 — graceinmtl

God's only Son..... Umm..... I don't think that's quite what the poet had in mind.
 — graceinmtl

 — claudia

Umm, I'm not so sure about the last two lines, "So shut your face/you Nazi fool."  It seems to switch voice just an itty bit there, I don't know if the narrative voice is speaking to a 2nd "Nazi" in the poem or the reader, and there doesn't seem to be a 2d Nazi anywhere in the poem, and addressing the reader like that is puzzling.  If it is an omniscient editorial voice addressing the narrative voice, it needs to be set apart.
I love the subtle sarcasm that I read in this poem, though; that someone in the year 2005 would choose this system of belief to identify with is as ridiculous as buying a whole bunch of "Hello Kitty" crap and saying "this is me," or a suburban Methodist Minister's daughter suddenly proclaiming she is a Druid.
Thanks for lightening up my day.
 — mikkirat

Thats how Nazi's end up then,talking to themselves.
 — unknown

should never be, good poem nontheless.
 — Meep

Well, here's the story behind it:

I'm German, and you all know how idiots make the assumption that all Germans are Nazis.  I call them the Nazis because they just adjust in themselves the American pride that causes chaos and ridicule to other ethnic groups.  So I started it out with the idea that I was the Nazi, and then ended it with the impression that 'you' were the Nazi.

Thanks for the feedback!
 — Aziel

whatever. bullshit...
 — unknown

should never be what...
 — Meep

Hey unknown!

Suck my winkie-woo! =)
 — Aziel

is this about high school romance?
 — onklcrispy

No, sorry.  I'm sure it's disappointing to hear that there's no deep meaning to this.
 — Aziel

L8 - perhaps 'the nazi shout'
L13 - 'Genocide is'
Not so sure about the last stanza, but the rest (especially 4th) is very good.
 — hobby

  the use of Nazi so extensively was for the purpose of shock not to prove a point.
i mean you could have been talking about a million other poser like kids to describe all the followers out there, but to use Nazi, was very much for the shock value.
but thats just my opinion.
overall not so great.
 — SweetPain

It's a bit juvenile and amateurish but at least I get it. I think given the subject and the message, you'd have done better to either give it MORE serious tone and content or LESS serious tone and content depending on whether you're trying to bring it across as a humorous piece or not.

My point is that a documentary film producer and a stand-up comic can approach the same subject and send the same message to their respective audiences with equal power. One uses humor and the other drama and stats but the goal for both is to push it to the extreme in order to drive the message home and have it remembered. To settle somewhere in the middle comes across as colder, blander and less important. IMHO this is a subject that requires more oomph.

Strictly for the rhythm and rhyme factor, it's not a bad write.
 — nakedowl

Is this poem out on the extreme edge of sado machismo or just a cry for attention?

Larry heil and rain Lark
 — larrylark

I like the style and form, easy to understand and read and nicely lyrical for a perfect contrast on the Nazi theme.  Very strong.
 — technomancer

It is rather simple, with only one layer. You might as well have changed the word 'Nazi' to 'Jew' and the poem could still make sense (if you changed the words of the shout). In fact you could change it for any religion or culture. That's why I'm not so keen on it. It's too simple and you've taken everyday objects and just related then to being 'Nazi'.
 — Linnac

You couldn't change the word nazi to jew because according to Jewish doctrine, Jews must never be cool.  Especially not uber cool.  For that to be the case, correctly, you would have to write "heretical person of Judaic persuasion", which wouldn't fit so well :)
 — unknown

oh, I see now.  line 3.  well if it's okay for an art teacher to propagate that it's okay to make their students work about any jewish person they know on a poetic twisting of protestants throwing rocks at catholic school children claiming that the rocks had been thrown by Jews at Japenese school children alluding to the merchant of venice where shakespeare uses a catholic moneylender who he claims to be jewish.. then i guess it's cool.  But I kinda lose all respect for everyone over it.
 — unknown

Speaking as someone who never underestimates the power of the dark side, um fashion, I have little to say that couldn't be said to be too historical.  Trousers matter.
 — unknown

Humpty dumpty
sat on a wall
humpty dumpty
had a great fall...
 — TCooks

My new raw egg and olive oil hair conditioning treatment?
 — unknown