poetry critical

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Quoth the Asshole
Aziel

I was molested by a scapegoat;
 1
Bold and brazen was he in his stupor.
 2
And though I can speak Mexican
 3
(El what-o the el fuck-o),
 4
it was all a blur.
 5
 
 
The red scarf
 6
Proves he’s an aviator.
 7
Fly, angel, fly!
 8
I see, I see, Ellie;
 9
She’d advise you away.
 10
 
 
Time is a child,
 11
Chucking Spaghetti-O’s across
 12
A pristine country-styled kitchen.
 13
It has no fear of the unknown,
 14
It has no fear of God.
 15
 
 
But they'll never went, what?
 16
Hungry again! (many at once)
 17
Notice: to whom it may concern,
 18
The flavor of the week has been
 19
Castrated, decapitated, and humiliated. (Stop)
 20
 
 
All under the sun must be rectified. (Stop)
 21
 
 
Demons be GONE!
 22

3 Nov 05

Rated 9 (8.2) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9
Inactive (6): 4, 7, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9

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Comments:

:)
 — aeturnus

Sarcasm?
 — Aziel

the poem is good. The title is a disaster
 — unknown

This poem is more than good. It's more than very good.
 — unknown

holy crap. this is so funny.
 — jittery

so this is what happens when you start dropping names? i never knew : ]

awesome


cp-- ps i just had to type ZONK in order to post this comment.
 — unknown

This is amusing on many levels.  Mexican is not a language, by the way.
 — Isabelle5

The poem is excellent.

The first line is magic.

And I love love love 11 - 15
 — PollyReg

i like this more every time it read it.

-polly
 — unknown

Isabelle's right, Mexican is not a language. Considering the context it's used in though, I think it's perfect. In fact, the whole poem is great even though it's a little vague in places. The only crit I have is the need for quotation marks in L8, 9 and possibly 16, unless I'm mistaken. Nice piece. :)
 — nakedowl

This is one of the finest hang over poems I've ever read.
Well done. A 9 standing up.
 — mitchl

Great and so bitterly flavoured
 — larrylark

I know it's not a language.  It's supposed to be a joke.  Like saying, "I don't speak eggroll" (chinese).
 — Aziel

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