poetry critical

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a poem by Adam

Inner Sanctum

now carloine is eatin crap
and talkin about squeaky
i have no idea what you should drink,
now she's eating Ramen
and talkin bout diet coke,
weird, is ramen a guy or girl???
anyway i think that
i should have sex soon,
the microwave is beeping
i stopped before i was done thinkin
my wang is to small to see??
i'm not sure about that,
Caroline thinks im small now
i have too many folders
on my desktop
and i need to get some,
but i can deal without,
i deleted all of my porn!!!
i stopped before i was done thinkin
crawling in my skin. . . .
thats a good song,
i hate school,
and my parents
political science sucked,
there weren't any hotties in that class.
i stopped before i was done thinkin
i hate him,
pedro is speakin,
ill be right back
he says that he's bored,
caroline has no money,
barbie was hot,
i saw her naked so many times!!
i stopped before i was done thinkin,
you made me!!

31 Mar 02

Rated 3 (6.2) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (14): 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6, 7, 8, 8, 10, 10

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(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

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ahh! damn i'm glad i broke up with that kid!!
 — unknown

This poem is pure genius. I totally agree that barbie is hot, especially naked
 — unknown

lines 27-28 made the cut for me.
 — unknown

GENIUS, PURE GENIUS!!! PORN like star wars.
 — unknown

This is really good. It should be in the top 15. And Ramen is a guy.
 — abby

i like the repition of "i stopped before i was done thinkin"...but everything else is a little too compulsive for me...though i love everything about it...the style, the words, the flow.
 — tinkerbell

i heart penis size insecurity.
 — unknown

I sure as hell don't know why this is good. I mean, I agree, it's good, but at the same time, it could be complete crap as well. the repetition of 'i stopped before i was done thinkin' and 'and', however, manage to make this into something actually good, and I am astounded.

I don't know if the 'carloine' at the beginning is intentional, but the spelling mistake adds to the idea of this character.

that's really bizarre.
 — semaj

I'm really curious as to who actually wrote this.
 — semaj

i agree, this poem is bloody brilliant, although i have not the slightest idea why.
 — inutile

coming back to this, i realise i don't like it.
 — inutile

i love it in so many ways....harder everytime.
 — loveart416

...and i like it again. damn my fickle nature.
 — inutile