poetry critical

online poetry workshop

my lil froggy

i had a little froggy.
i put 'im in my bed.
and every lil mornin
i kiss' 'is little head.
one day i woke up
and froggy- he was gone!
then i started wond'rin
"where had i gone wrong?"
first i checked the bathtub
cause that's where froggies might be.
then i checked the toilet
to see if he went pee.
then i checked the 'fridgerator;
checked there just in time.
because i found my froggy.
i found him in a lime!
i took him from the lime
and i put him in my bed.
and every lil mornin
i kiss 'is lil head!

i thought up, and sometimes acted out, the nursery monologue for my little brother and sister, when i was a kid.  i cannot change a thing, because THIS IS EXACTLY THE WAY IT GOES.

21 Jul 03

Rated 10 (7.9) by 5 users.
Active (5): 1, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (27): 2, 3, 3, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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(181 more poems by this author)

(15 users consider this poem a favorite)

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fuggin' genius!
 — onklcrispy

What the hell is genius about this?
 — FP

You did well to post anonymously. This is one of the worst 'lil froggy' poems I have ever read. Its one saving grace is the neat and hoppy ending.
 — unknown

there are other lil froggy poems?
 — gnormal

this poem is cute....children would adore it
 — unknown

I found the lil froggy poem!!!
 — unknown

 — unknown

If I had written this, I definitely would have taken the credit for it!

 — unknown

best poem on the site
 — unknown

Oh sweet! - Susanna
 — unknown

I want this froggie living with me. _ susanna (again)
 — unknown

I wanna kiss 'is lil head!
 — unknown

Form an orderly queue. - Susanna
 — susanna15

somethin from .. run d.m.c..?
 — unknown

I never knew there were "little froggy" poems until I came across this little...er, well...poem-like product...
 — unknown

You get a zero for the poem, one point for having a pet frog, and an extra point for the sheer genius of looking for him in a refrigerator.
 — unknown

what about 2 points for actually inviting a toad to bed...naw, forget it, I've done that a few times myself and no one ever gave me points for it.
 — unknown

I'm not even going to touch that comment...
 — unknown

Not THAT kind of toad!
 — unknown

warts and all eh?
 — unknown

hahaha, this is pure brilliance.
 — unknown

haha I love it. few times is stumbles, like line 10 lose the might and leave just a be? or something, it's 1 syllable too long. And line 11 as well
but for the humour, you get points baby
 — Minx

Kiss him! Now! I have to know...then write us a poem about what happens. I've kissed lots of toads but never a frog.

Hey, this isn't one of those Colorado frogs with LSD in the skin, is it?!
 — Isabelle5

I think I might be slightly more curiously inclined to kiss it then Isabelle - the images in this poem fill me with joy.
 — opal

 — AgentA

My all-time fave - please can I give it 10X2?
 — opal

i love that thing!
 — unknown


                                      *            *
 — unknown

ahahaha, this is fantastic because it is completely un-intellectual. no, i mean it, i love it. it's a relief.
 — unknown

very cute
 — unknown

I LOVE it. Its so0o0o0o adorable. I'm not tryin to be babyish or anythin its just that its very cute. I want to read some more of the stuff that you write.
 — unknown

Its a good idea for a nursery ryhme, but true poetry I think not.
But then again nursery rhmes are known to everyone so maybe it is wonderfull.
 — Dragonsayer5

 — unknown

If you can't change it, then why did you post it at a "poetry critical site"? It is my understand, that this site is mainly for giving people criticism and/or helpful insight so that they can add to their poem.

i can't say that the nursery-rhyme style justifies all the casual... colloquilalisms... or the exaggeratedly ignorant tone of this piece...

as to why a frog would be in a lime... is just the most ridiculous thing I have heard- it seems to be written without reason. As Dragonsayer said, a great piece of poetry? No.
 — Inuki

 — unknown

this is really cute..love it. points for cuteness!
 — wendz

This is so cute! I'm lovin it :)
 — Adrielle

LOVE IT. cute...but not stupid cute. Whatever, I love it. 9
 — mazzy

It is cute, but I don't know why it's posted on a critique site if you're not looking for comments...

I don't understand the comment just before mine -- is it from the author?
 — Greg

OH, my bad -- it was in the author's favorites. I'm such a dummy.
 — Greg

er... you know what I mean.
 — Greg

its cute and they said they wrote when they were younger
its got a bit of a premade genius to it
 — unknown

this is really cute..good for children
 — unknown

very funny, a little stiff-- that first line is hilarious. I wish I could kiss my froggy...no I don't, but I wish she would feed him.
 — C

mmm random yum
have you thought about using my as me (it's a british thing)
which will sound condescending if you're british

8 "where is it i'd gone wrong" ... ?
i'm a cockney sparra
above suggestion is street slang expression round my way
ignore me

10 ... ooh? not sure it works
it's rhythm is out
you can see that just looking at the length of the line
could be easily changed?

14 checked there - just in time? <- hyphen thing for the quater beat missing pause?

aww 15 has because instead of cos. shame

i yum it
but i'd yum it lotser
if a few edits were made

 — unknown

this is adorable!  very cute, very imaginative.  :D
 — unknown

I like poems that really are just simple and sweet, theres not enough of them.
 — Andrew

came across this by random poem. this was fun.

i enjoyed it.
 — mould_jesus

thanks for bumping this one out of the obscurity of the poem basement, mj ... it's high-hopping fun
 — Bloodfetish

AWWWWWWW!!!!!! i LOVE this! ahahahahahha!!!!! it's so cute! the rhyming doesn't restrict this at ALLL! it's PERFECT! on mah fav's list!! 8*
 — unknown

ello ello
 — unknown

aww..this is so cute!
 — lonelygirl

Excellent poem.  Short, sweet, direct and...(for lack of better words) great.
 — EdwardDurden

Uh so cute! I love froggys.  I love your lil froggy rhyme!  It has great rhythm, and diction and form! great job for a kid!  kids can be so ingenious.
 — Riverwriter2

I still love this.
 — wendz

Welcome back froggie,You keep spawning happy happy smiles
 — larrylark

good to talk , love this . Its what most people miss .
 — sir_I_clan

best froggy poem ever!
 — unknown

that a funny froggy story
 — unknown

Honestly, I don't know why this wouldn't be considered great poetry. It was written for a specific purpose and it achieved that purpose in the most incredible way possible. I absolutely adore it.

Ten points!

 — A_Forsaken

excellent and fun!
 — unknown

just resurrecting a classic.
 — unknown

Nice to say one of the truly great poems of this site making a most welcome return.

Larry toad in a hole Lark
 — unknown

One of my favorite poems of all time. Well done.
 — frogilicus

lil froggy please don't go, we'll eat you up we love you so.

Big toady
 — unknown

endearing and charming
 — Mongrol

: )
 — fractalcore

I sang this the other night
 — unknown

 — unknown

two above was me.
 — sir_I_clan

2 rivets loose
above you is me,

of course:

; )
 — fractalcore

well, there's 3 really --
though intially it was 1 --
but i'll settle for 2


; )
 — fractalcore

you still
are strange
 — unknown

but i am

: )
 — fractalcore

i sing this
i remember

my friends
children love

 — sir_I_clan

who needs yoko
 — sir_I_clan

ask G,

: )
 — fractalcore

i'm g
 — sir_I_clan

yeah, right.
: )
 — fractalcore

sing it bitch
 — unknown

gimme the wrong
pitch first, doggy
pug duck pin hog.
; )
 — fractalcore

sing it,
loud and proud

i had a little froggy.
 — sir_I_clan

i have a lil tale of
a lil tail i once had

like that of a tadpole
but not quite

it was that of a stinray
without the G in sight.

; )
 — fractalcore

 — unknown

i sometimes like you
i sometimes like you flat
but most-ley
i like you like a cat
 — unknown

yes, i know tadpoles
have feelings and know
how to say ouch.

; )
 — fractalcore

they also purr back when
trapped in feline circles
and keep on chasing
their own tails.

; )
 — fractalcore

 — unknown

and 15 uses consider this their favorite?

there are a lot of coco puff smokers on here.
 — mandolyn

useRs i mean.
i stink.
 — mandolyn

Possibly the greatest poem about a little froggie ever written by anyone anywhere

Larry toad in the hole Lark
 — larrylark

gnormously excellent poem, gnormal.  i have printed it and posted it in my cube so i can look over it and grin like hell all day.  thank you !!!!

 — unknown

 — bettalpha