poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Pokemon Battle
jackson

I not speak english very good. Come from homeland. Please help me raise me high. High 10~ ^^

I having an Charizard
 1
I writing poems are hard
 2

12 Jan 06

Rated 10 (7.5) by 3 users.
Active (3): 1, 10, 10
Inactive (34): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(13 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

dood yuor poemz r gud.
<3
 — unknown

what the fuck
what the bloody hell is this
 — unknown

jackson is a deuchebagggggg <3
 — nishra

o, urm neat.
 — bear

man. this is so random, its funny. aw man, nearly wet myself. sorry if you are triing to be serious but man. whew. um good for your first time. how about a 7. no that was so funny, an 8.
 — tearsofblood

oh WTF, ill change that to ten, just to make you happy ;)
oh and wlcome to PC
 — tearsofblood

who did this BTW. you shuld be proud. its rated 10. 10!!!!. none of mine got that high ~*sniff*~
 — tearsofblood

First of all, your wishes to "raise you high" are completely ridiculous. Who is to say that this deserves it in the first place? Utterly ridiculous and conceited..

Second, your title seems to suggest that you know perfectly well what you are talking about, so i don't see why the rest of the poems lacks that focus.

In all, this doesn't deserve to be a poem. I would rate this a zero, unfortunately that is not so.
 — unknown

this sux. wtf is this?
 — unknown

this is depressing
 — unknown

watchu talking about its kewl. i just wanna know who wrote it
 — tearsofblood

so cute
....if you wer 4 years old
 — redbracelet

You might consider a poetry site in another language as the translation might not be coming across as what you had in mind in the original.

Just a thought...I have no idea what this means.  
 — Isabelle5

Someone gave this a 10?  That shoots the real 10's to hell, doesn't it?  
 — unknown

yeah i gave it a ten, i thought it funny and unique, but hey so did 2 others. and its what we think not u, no offence
 — tearsofblood

make that 4
 — tearsofblood

YES ONKL WAS HERE. aaannnnndddd, he made your poem a favourite. what an honor. lucky sock wearing charizard. oh, and u 2 unknown, you too.
 — tearsofblood

Isn't it astonishing how some people work so hard on their poems and don't get read or rated and here comes a cheap, bad poem and because no one wants to insult someone who "might" be from another country, it's voted the highest it can get.

That is just so sad.  I writing poems are hard.

The fact of this getting a 10 makes me want to ask Rafter to design a program that can give a minus score, just to even out the field.  

Someone explain how any of this deserves a 10.  Not funny, not lucid, not grammatically correct even accidentally.  You demean the really good poems by rating crap like this so high.  Think about it.  
 — Isabelle5

Jackson.  That sure does not sound like a foreign name so what the hell are you doing with an intro like that?  Bigotry against the ones who really are trying to learn English.  
 — unknown

我不理解你們大家說的但是謝謝給我 10 的那些人
 — jackson

english: i not know all you are saying but thank you people for 10 ^______^
 — jackson

Okay, consider our leg pulled.  I have a suspicion that I'll keep to myself.  I've learned that at least.
 — Isabelle5

tee hee i love

::rawr::

-lissa
 — unknown

Hello Jackson,
Eight years old, are you? Listen, I have absolutely nothing to say about your poem, but I'll babysit you once and a while if you want to play with the older kids on the message board.
 — unknown

<3333333333333 tHIS PIECEMASTER!  ME LIKE LOT.  ME COME FROM HOMELAND TOO.  HOMELAND WHERE YOU?  BAI.
 — peacepoet

This is just so incredibly perfect.
 — wendz

Isabelle - I just read the comments, and I disagree with what you have said. I don't think that this is a piece of crap. I could analyse the hell out of this - in fact, I already have, in my head, before deciding whether I liked this or not - but I choose not to. This is just damn perfect.
 — wendz

i didn't want to get into this whole debate here. this is poem which seems to have split this community, and i don't want to add fuel to the fire. i will however say this: i don't believe this is poetry but it is funny as hell.
 — emptyepitaph

Umm... *coughs.* Wait, aren't you supposed to be at least 13 years of age to be on this site nowadays? I'm confused.

As for the poem, I have nothing to say. It's funny, yes but I still can't decide if it's really poetry.
 — lonelygirl

That was the absolute best one ever, Or was it?
 — unknown

i prefer suzej's poetry.
it's authentic.

you are right wendy
it's all perfect and shone up. like a countefeit coin.
it's the difference between a bright pair of clean converse and an old favourite battered pair.

shrug.

kaleidazcope
 — unknown

wendy & kaleida, can you compare this to this?
http://poetry.tetto.o rg/read/18228/
 — unknown

you my hero. we also friends. we take poem and make them good thing. we awesome. you my pal. love you poem
high ten
 — unknown

like we said again, high ten.
 — unknown

hahahahaha.
 — lieskilllies

It okay, I from homeland. Too, Part of what state you in!
Give you ten,
 — unknown

Jackson you idiot

B-Tang
 — unknown

seriously?! a 10!
 — archie

I wantting a Pikechu
My inglish perfict so fuk yu
 — unknown

*bump*

promote the goodness
 — unknown

BRIEVITY. SIMPLICITY. MODESTY. INNOCENCE.

perfect, like wendz said.
 — OKcomputer

I think this is the result of that 1,000,000 monkeys with typewriters experiment. Kind of a bit far from Shakespear though. Overall, I don't care that you're from another country, I know a girl from Croasia who can speak 6 languages fluently and is learning a 7th. I like pokemon as much as the next guy but I have to say I would give this a 0 too. But I am stuck with a 1. Low, low 1.

Read a book, learn the language,
~ Harlie
 — TheHarlequin

TheHarlequin, it's spelt Croatia not Croasia. Take your own advice. Read a book and learn the language before you go off half-cocked at someone who doesn't even know what you're going on about.
 — unknown

i raise you hi!!!^10!!!^10!!!
 — unknown

RAISE YOU HIGHER!!!!!!!!HIHIHIHI!!
 — unknown

IRIASEU
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
+10!
SOOOO HI ^________^
 — unknown

I HALP YOU
HALP RAISE YOU HI!!!!1
1010101010101010101010!!!!!!!XDXDXD
 — unknown

umm..alright...im not sure if this is a joke or not. Its not very nice to make fun of this child for posting a ...well...erhm...and intresting poem....but i can see why you would all think this is a joke..umm...

p.s. kids from other countries who can relativly speak english, or type it for that matter, at least know how to string a couple words together and make a mediocre grammatically correct sentence...
 — Imperfect

....
 — DeathShards

Wow, this poem's either got really high or really low ratings. Except for that 5.
 — DeathShards

anti-intellectualism




brilliant
 — bcza

10+       This is all a wonderful commentary on the site's collective IQ
 — poetbill

The fact of the matter is although it is funny, it is not poetry.  It is two statements thrown together and given a title that only relates to the first statment.  Having a Charizard has no connection to writing poetry.  As someone else said you are susposed to be at least 13 to use this site...I think someone is playing a joke to see how much controversy they can cause and it is working.
 — ninabaladina

Still the best thing on this site.
 — DeformedLion

this is such a great piece if your not serious and writing like this in a poetic sense - then definitely a ten. if your serious - well a ten for the cuteness level. ^_^
 — adonispillow

Oh wow. I laughed for like a full three minutes.
This is gold.
 — mindbodysoul

forgot to 10-fave.
there, hehe.
: )
 — fractalcore

HI 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GIVE YOU HI 10!!!!
 — unknown

10 for your charizard and because you come from your homeland.
 — banditfemme

I really don't know exactly from what planet you hailed jackson. But you are the genius this site has been waiting for all these years. HELLO SAVIOR!
 — unknown

this might be a good day to quit trying to write good poetry, just slap down some shit and wait for 10's.
 — unknown

Go back 2 skool.  Your stupidity is showing.  
 — unknown

whoever gave this 1's needs to take it back, I definetely want to see this on the Top Rated!
 — mindbodysoul

YOu spelled "definitely" wrong, mbs.  So much for the top rated.  Your spelling may be one day.  
 — unknown

yeah, I always spell definetely wrong. Same with desparate.
They look better that way.
Spelling is overrated. And I almost always spell correctly anyways since I'm rather obsessive-complusive :)
 — mindbodysoul

This is not good poetry, I don't care what you think you see in it.  What's the matter with all of you?  Where is the level of quality going?

Not up, that's for sure, if this is an example of how to write poetry.
 — Isabelle5

I think it needs to be 'a' rather than 'an' before Charizard. Unless the poem's not meant to be grammatically correct. It's hard to tell if you actually write as such or if you've just done it for the poem.
 — Linnac

you guys are being too literal. This is funny. And someone had the guts to put it out there, someone who can hardly speak english. It's hilarious! It's obviously not how we should all write poetry, but that isn't the point. Ratings are overrated.
 — mindbodysoul

Neat.  Something about this makes me smile.  Thank you.
 — diati

I am missing your point, Commenters.  The point of PC is to help poetry be written better, clearer, not to reward the inept and clumsy.

You demean the best poems by applauding this with 10's.  You could like it without giving it the highest possible rating.  

You could also be more helpful by telling the poet why it falls short, what is wrong and giving ideas to correct it.  This isn't supposed to be about only hilarity, when did that change come about?  I missed the memo that said all poems, even the worst, must be rated 10 and praised!

If you believe this clown is only 6, you all deserve to have nothing to read but this kind of poem.  
 — Isabelle5

some people take life way too seriously.
chill :)
 — mindbodysoul

Isabelle, I understand what you mean.  But, the reason I rate this poem as I do is not because I think it's magnificently written.  The grammatical/syntactical errors in it are gaudy.  I, however, wish I could write in a manner that makes me feel the way reading this poem makes me feel -- I, evidently, can't.  So, I take something from it.  
 — diati

This is our craft, I'm surprised that you don't take it seriously.   Perhaps some should not be quite so 'chilled.'  This is a Workshop, not a toy store.
 — Isabelle5

hey, I take it seriously, but sometimes,  you just gotta "chill". this poem makes it one of those times. It makes me laugh, and that is definetely a good thing, so I ten it. No biggie. Don't sweat it. I don't usually do this anyways :)
 — mindbodysoul

i prefer bulbasar.
 — unknown

I'll second what diati said; I wish I could write like this to make people feel what I feel when I read this, but I can't. And that's good enough for me.
 — wendz

still the best!
 — DeformedLion

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