poetry critical

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The Sims
wiccanhot

The Sims is a God Game.
 1
You direct the Sims’ lives.
 2
You can make them successful,
 3
Or you can ruin them.
 4
 
 
The Sims is a creative game.
 5
You can be an architect and build a house
 6
From the ground up, or
 7
Start with an existing house and be an interior decorator.
 8
 
 
The Sims is a fun game.
 9
You can use the Sims creator to make yourself a Sim
 10
Or use it to Sim your favorite celebrity
 11
Or TV/movie character.
 12

12 Jan 06

Rated 8 (6.3) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 4, 7, 8

(define the words in this poem)
(19 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Good poem, but I dont like The Sims.
 — PoeticOrgasm

dont likie the poem, love sims:P
 — linush

i don't see how this is more than a list of things about the game; a bit childish to me.  but i do love the sims!  can be extremely addicting, though.  very dangerous if abused…
 — woman_power

i agree with woman power, i want to see more analysis of the game
 — HandsomeHerb

I agree. With the poem. It's all very true.

Is there more to it?
 — GalvanicGirl

great!
 — unknown

Heh. My friend is obsessed with the Sims... I'm going to print this out for her ^_^.
 — lonelygirl

  The point of poetry is to go beyond typical descriptions. The descriptions should either be more flowery or find extra details to comment on. Simply giving a game summary with odd line breaks isn't good poetry. All stodgyness aside, I thought it was cute.
 — katt

I agree this is bland, mix it up a little - maybe someting like:

I am GOD, directing lives
succsess or ruin - I decide!

Architecht from the ground up
all creation is mine

Isn't it fun! in the game we can achieve
what we fail at in reality.

This is by no means a poem and also c*ap, but I hope it offers a pointer for a different way of structuring the poem.
 — hobby

you set a great katt and hobby trap.  love it!
 — gnormal

gnormal, you forgot mention linush, woman_power and galvanicGirl who all looked for something more from this . You write some pretty interesting pieces but feel your implication that this poem was designed to solely to illicit critique from readers somewhat bizarre.
 — hobby

hob, i dont think it's bizarre.  people (PERSON!) on the forums do it all the time.  the poet is either a simpleton, or, someone that knows exactly what they are doing (and i dont know exactly what that is, maybe it's trolling for bizarre crit.  if so, i think that's funny.)  the advice you guys gave assumes the former, but in my opinion wiccanhot knows what wiccanhot is doing.  if wiccanhot is a simpleton then the joke is on me, and in that case i'd still enjoy it, i'd just have to enjoy it as a found poem instead.
[see hanks red rubber ball poem.]
 — gnormal

gnorm,
I hope the laugh is on me, having read an abundance of postings which have fallen short in many aspects, it is easy to lose sight that there are talented writers here with both skill and a sense of wit.  
wiccanhot I trust these comments have not offended, I have not yet read any of your other postings nor do I know you personaly, so my comments have been based soley on th epoem as I found it.
 — hobby

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