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Merry-Go-Round
ProzacNation

Stomach twisting
 1
turning knots
 2
spinning round
 3
circling
 4
 
 
on a merry go round
 5
that never stops
 6
 
 
brightly coloured horses
 7
with glittery faces
 8
and plastic tails
 9
the lifeless eyes; they stare
 10
as if soaking in the life before them
 11
 
 
getting old
 12
the ride continues
 13
and the world changes before them
 14
those tiny pupils, unmoving
 15
seem somehow cold and distant
 16
as these dead plastic shells
 17
watch this sick show of life
 18
and the carnage bestowed upon them.
 19
 
 
little children, boys and girls
 20
happily scream, delighted and thrilled
 21
clutching onto the solid manes
 22
of these old horses, as once again
 23
they go round and round and round...
 24
the never ceasing ride
 25
 
 
these horses, with thousands of passengers
 26
young and old, fat and thin
 27
their eyes, unchanging
 28
still watch this world
 29
telling the story, of what we've become.
 30

13 Jan 06

Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 6, 8
Inactive (6): 6, 6, 10, 10, 10

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Comments:

this is weird. pretty interesting using a merry go round. they see all- going round in a circle i supose.
doesn't completely make sense the way you say they watch when earlier you say they're lifeless.
 — unknown

I love how you used the imagery of a Carousel. The next one I see will probably give me the heebie jeebies because of the history you expressed so well in this poem.
Great job.
I give it a 10 because you confused the crap out of someone else, with what seems perfectly obvious to me.
 — katt

I give it 10 for the same reason as katt
 — gingerdave

hauntingly beautiful
 — Pegboy

with all due respect, the metaphor is very thin, and even so, is not very much explored beyond the obvious.

katt is right. it is obvious. i would suggest reaching deeper for something that hasn't already been expressed in numerous songs and the like.

respectfully,

noodleman
 — noodleman

I really like the other new Carousel poem better.  It takes the metaphor and plants it into your head, so that you can see the spin and see the glitter of the fake rhinestones.  I don't think you can use Never ceasing ride as a metaphor to Life.  Life, thank God, does end one day.
 — Isabelle5

This is weirdly effective. Excellent central image
 — larrylark

this wasn't suposed to be deep and meaningful. I just wanted to write from a different perspective. At the time i was remembering a holiday i went on with a friend- we went on a carousel everyday.
 — ProzacNation

something provoked you to wrte this.  and so you did. is the problem solved? no! all you managed to do is show people you got a problem. we dont even know what it is. you ar just as ineffective in problem solving as the democrats!
 — TheO1dCrow

what problem? its a statement against society, like Sassoon, Russel, Huxely, Orwell. yeah fine live, but don't think, you conformist! (for- TheO1dCrow )
 — unknown

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