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Indecision
katt

I originally wrote this 5 years ago, I made a few changes recently. It is a great reminder for which road to take.

There is a voice of derision
 1
That chills on the couch that is in its room
 2
Behind my left ear
 3
Sometimes it gets a snack from the kitchen
 4
at the top
 5
and center
 6
of my head.
 7
It likes to play games on the computer
 8
But
 9
Everywhere it goes
 10
It tells me I am wrong
 11
It tells me I am stupid
 12
It tells me I am weird
 13
 
 
I have a voice of pride
 14
That paces on the floor that is in its room
 15
behind my right ear
 16
It likes to go swimming in the pool
 17
at the bottom
 18
and center
 19
of my head
 20
Sometimes it pretends to be someone else
 21
But
 22
Whatever it does
 23
It tells me I am right
 24
It tells me I am smart
 25
It tells me I am beautiful
 26
 
 
There is a voice of reason
 27
That left its room between my two ears
 28
and never went back
 29
It likes to sit and think anywhere it can find a new view of the world.
 30
Sometimes it swims with pride, or chills with derision
 31
But when it is alone
 32
It sits in my ears
 33
and listens.
 34
It sits in my eyes
 35
and sees.
 36
It sits in the library
 37
and learns,
 38
from the memories.
 39
 
 
Reason doesn’t talk much,
 40
but when it does
 41
I listen.
 42

20 Jan 06

Rated 9 (5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 1, 9

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Comments:

Is there a way to change the anignment? I would like to have lines 13 - 25 on the right and all the lines after 26 in the center.
 — katt

no idea - but if you find out please tell me because there are so many poems I have that i cannot post because i cannot align them correctly. nice however, i like.
R
 — Rousseau

Really like the last stanza - just read it again, that one struck a chord ^_^
R
 — Rousseau

Fkn cool. I really, honestly, think this is a great idea, well executed.

x
 — musicwords

I appretiate your rating, whoever you are, but do you think you could possibly be a little more, brave/civilized and give me some comments as to what i could do to improve it?
 — katt

i love you
 — TheYoungCrow

Thanks for the comments everyone. It means alot.... and rousseau.. sorry for ignoring your posts to get let down by the 1 rating :(... I get cranky sometimes. ^_^

And crow, I love you too.
 — katt

The repetition might be more powerful (lines 11-13, 24-26, and 33-39) if you varied it slightly. I'm not sure the cadence quite works. Other than that, this is well executed (and more than a little enjoyable to read).
 — phyridean

hmm, YAY, a real comment, about it... Huzzah!

Yes, i could eliminate the ..um.. bad bits, but I would like to keep it for the lines 33-39...
Would it be ok if i kept just that, or would that still be too much repition?
 — katt

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