I can think
they fly o
through the o
blue sky n
u far away
r dear balloon
e I’d like to
1 Feb 06
Rated 9.5 (9.1) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9, 10, 10
Inactive (32): 4, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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(8 more poems by this author)
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what the frick is this?
that is a nice picture you made out of some words, not a poem
i like it.
It's a *shape* poem guys.
poem???? ergh Im missing the point of all this
i don't like the capitals. i think this would look better without them, or, if you must have them, only at the very start of the poem.
Edited! Yay! I shall now try it without the capitals
oh, this is so damn awesome; three times as much as before, in fact.
Yay! More balloons=more lurve!
I swear, I've never been this hyper in my life
well, if it produces poems like this, i'm glad you're hyper at this time of your life.
I'm going to go outside and run around now.
Perhaps I shall talk to you tomorrow?
I absolutely love love love these balloons.......even more of them with similarly lovely words would be even more brill....:-)
nice shape, lazy ccontect
i thought the content was rather wistful and relaxed, not lazy at all.
fair point, I retract
this is awesome
it makes me feel like i'm floating away
shapes are wonderful. Balloon captions very nice but the one on the readers' right
could be elevated somewhat ( not the balloon, but the message within).
This should be published in a children’s book (and I don’t mean that in a Simon Cowel way!) I can really see this being used in a primary education classroom to spark the imagination of the kids doing creative writing. Good work.
uno mas ballooooon
I LOVE THIS!!!
I love it. =)
this is lovely
helium overdose. 10 overdose
it's so whimsical and sweet - my only prob. is that i had a bit of a problem reading some of the strings and i don't think that's your intention, but hat's off (and floating away) for creativity and saying something in a different way to me.
sorry about misuse of apostrophe in 'hats'
this is very pretty (content and shape wise) and i can only imagine it took forever to space correctly. inutile's description as "wistful and relaxed" fits this well, very nice. however, i must say i can't help but notice that these balloons floating away also strongly resemble sperm racing off the page.
somebody had to say it. not that that's a bad thing, just don't think it was your intent. hey, could be double entendre?? or something?? ha
:) but good job, i like this.
I suppose it may indeed be both a helium *and* a 10 overdose.
Ah well, I shall enjoy it until some anit-balloon person gives it a 1.
of course by anit, I mean anti. It's just my way of talking and wasn't a typo at all.
I just wanted to clarify that for y'all. (:
it's neat I like it
globe? i don't like that word in the context of this poem. i think "orb" might be a better word, but then the shape will be out, so how about changing "fair" to "milky". will that fit?
i liked the 3 balloons version.
mayhaps the language was simple. but it worked.
4 balloons has alienated me. simple now seems syrupy.
becoming a virus, stay to 3
i love this
alas, 'tis three again.
I've never taken shape poems seriously as poems. But I suppose they are a good exercise, and this one makes me smile.
Utterly enchanting! The format fits the poem, the words fit the title, it's easy to read. This is just about the perfect 'sculpture" poem!
i love your poem.
i don't like all the oooo's though. so i'm ignoring them.
I suppose you must ignore them, I can't, after-all, have too short a line on my first balloon.
Plus, I always say balloons that way, with a drawn out ooooo.
You should try it.
Spell it with me:
You're really horrible, you know that?
i love this
it makes me wanna commit tadpole sex
now that this is number one
i really hate it
nice baloons. you're a cute one.
This is nice to look at, nothing special to read however.
I like this
imagination and creativity all in one nice
this definately captures my eye. nice.
I hate it at first too, do you like it any better now that it's fifteenth?
Thank you for the spelling lesson
And for mental images of tadpole sex
And for hating it
And for calling me cute
And for noticeing my words are inadequate
And for liking it
And for thinking it's imaginative *and* creative
And for letting it capture your eye.
You have a beautiful attitude
Thank you muchly
wow so many people
The words arent too special, but if they were, I think they would take away the whole, well, innocent nature of the poem. It is about something that all children love; the simple language adds to that, makes it a complete work. Asking for more would make it like, coloring in a crayon book with oil paints. Which is to say, flowery language should go with flowery topics, and this poem is perfect.
pretty poem and i can see baloons! wow!
I do love to see this poem in the top 15
Ahhh, my poem the coloring book. Nice.
Thank you, PN, you make me laugh.
A question to unknown: Why?
if it's not too much trouble, i'd move the second balloon up a few lines ;)
haha! that's gonna take some serious tweaking.
I shall embark immediately.
crap. I must sign back in.
It never ceases to amaze me how lazy I am.
nice idea but terrible writing. try not to compensate for lack of verbal ideas with graphic presentation. try to heighten both.
woo! It has been moved.
Is the writing really terrible? It's simple, yes, as is the subject, as is the format, as was my way of thinking when writing it. I'm not going to fill up pretty shapes with long-winded, flowery words that the target audience (namely, my nephew,) won't even understand.
I apologize if my terrible words offend you.
Do you have any suggestions?
this is really odd.
i don't know if it's a different unknown each time, or the same one, but i suggest you just ignore them.
although i was serious with my last suggestion, i didn't think you'd actually do it.
oh It's okay. I didn't like them on the top rated list anyway. It kinda made me nervous all the time.
This way, only people who want to find them, and know how to, will be able to.
Thank you for all your help, Inutile, you've been wonderful
Your attitude is as high-flying as your balloons. I mean that in the best way possible. Don't let the jealous and the spiteful bring you down.
Thank you, unknown, wise advice that I shall try my hardest to follow.
This was a pleasure to stumble upon. Usually I shy away from shape poems but you little ballooony wooonies just blew me away. I think your text is gormless blah but yet I still like this. It makes me smile and envy your little creation which will surely waft on forever in our hearts.
i'll miss you around this site. i hope your class helps you with your writing, and that you will drop by here occasionally.
This is really highly-rated by over twenty people, but it's not on the top 15 list, Why is that?
Think about it. It's really not impossible to figure out. Think about the options we have when we post and edit a poem.
What does that have to do with it being on the top rated list?
The author is keeping this off the top-rated. That's right. She doesn't want it there to be pierced with malicious holes.
( She's an excellent poet and a clever girl)
Oh, haha, I never noticed that check box before. I understand her motive, though. People can be malicious, as you say.
me to sssay
they fly away with my heart.
Yo wat up "g"tis cool.. :)
painting with words. this is poetry. peace.
This is so lovely both poetically and visually
I LOVE IT!!
Beautiful balloons -- a creative use of the carmenfiguratum form of poetics.
Wow... another great concrete poem. Keep up the good work!