poetry critical

online poetry workshop



journey unknown
topop

poems
 1
are
 2
but
 3
pages
 4
of
 5
your
 6
imagination
 7
s
 8
l
 9
  u
 10
   r
 11
    p
 12
     i
 13
      g
 14
down
 15
to
 16
the
 17
spout
 18
of
 19
your
 20
fingers
 21
and
 22
g
 23
    u
 24
  r
 25
g
 26
    l
 27
  i
 28
n
 29
g
 30
ink,
 31
bleeding
 32
onto
 33
the
 34
dark
 35
depths
 36
of
 37
11:00pm-
 38
paper.
 39
 
 
the
 40
scraps
 41
from
 42
unfamiliar
 43
memories
 44
of
 45
seasons
 46
unknown.
 47

2 Apr 06


(define the words in this poem)
(46 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

I thought I would hate this cos of the format but it's actually really good, the only thing I'm not sure about is L38 11:00pm, I don't think it fits well. The rest is great, good job.
 — flaminhot

I liked it, but I thought the ending stanza could use some work...it just sounds like it's tagged on because it sounds rounded and mysterious.
 — unknown

overall it isn't stunning, but it isn't bad. you said what you wanted to say. (like the change of tone around line thirty-one. a point of the humor in this.)
 — listen

perfect title.
 — listen

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