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Fading
BloodDrip

Racing along the horizon as the sun goes down
 1
Night swallows everything in a blanket of darkness
 2
Stars start appearing and shine brightly in this black sky
 3
Looking at this world for it's in this big vast abyss
 4
I run along the edge of the blackness for it is time
 5
Disappearing by the edge of the sun's horizon
 6
As the sun comes up slowly in the sky I am gone
 7
The wind races and blows softly all around
 8
Flowers move and dance with the breeze
 9
Trees sway and show off their greenness
 10
Staring all over the earth I am no more
 11
For I have faded away and disappeared
 12
Listen if your quiet enough you might hear me
 13

It's about wanting to fade away from everything.

27 Aug 03

Rated 4 (4.3) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 4, 4, 5

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Comments:

This reminds me vaguely of the movie "Powder," at the end when he is taken by the energy and becomes part of the storm's wind.

I didn't get the feeling of fading, though. Perhaps if you used some shadowy words, more than stars that shine brightly and the darkness. In the kind of atmosphere you present, it seems as though you would disappear but not exactly by fading.
 — Isabelle5

I kind of wanted the ending to be like that because I liked the ending of that movie. It's not really about fading but what you said disappear. I kind of messed up and I think I might've put in the wrong words for it. I may have to go back and change something. Thanks for posting your comments Isabelle5!
 — BloodDrip

you'RE (L13).

Try to let your poem tell your readers what you want it to say, and not add a comment after your poems telling them what you hope they got out of it.
 — unknown

BloodDrip, are you still there?
 — unknown

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 — unknown

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 — unknown

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