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~A~ for Alexandra
topop

do you really know what an impression is?
 1
ones as pungent as the thick red wax that seals an old envelope.
 2
 
 
you know the kind?
 3
 
 
thick wax, stamped with an eloquent name. like, Alexandra. maybe with just an ~A~
 4
usually, a bit of that wax drips down the sides of the stamp - imperfect.
 5
when the wax dries, its always blood red.
 6
not cherry red.
 7
not dark red.
 8
blood.
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and its so shiny.
 10
with the "so" said as a little girl would respond when daddy asks how happy she is.
 11
"so, so, so happy!"
 12
and forever, that hot wax is seared into the veins of the envelope.
 13
impressed.
 14
 
 
impressed?
 15

11 Apr 06

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Comments:

Not too much.  This sounds like someone speaking but not like someone speaking in a poem.

What are you trying for in this piece?
 — Isabelle5

thats an excellent question... im not really sure. i guess to make a really vivid image of a really simple thing.
this was just a spur of the moment/wanted to write something kinda thing... i agree, it doesnt sound enought like a poem...
what im trying really hard to do in poetry is work on imagery... and im looking at different methods to do that.
i dont know...
 — topop

This is good imagery, but what I really appreciate about it is the implied narrative.  Impressions, wax, and a girl, (maybe Alexandra herself); there's a whole unspoken story which I find intriguing.  

That said, there are points where the narrative is uncertain, although I'm not sure you intended to be specific about these images.  It would be more specific as "an old envelope" instead of "old envelopes,"or "an elegant name" instead of "some elegant name."  Consider also if you might end "...seared into her veins."  I know these suggestions might change the character of the poem too much, or go against the poet's intent, but do consider.  This is good stuff.
Thanks,
 — mikkirat

*puts his feet up* Ah-ha! Now...does red wax only seal old envolopes? If I were to buy a new envelope, or even steal or borrow a new envelope, would the wax seal still seal the evelope? Hmm...I guess I really wouldn't know. This really is a good poem though...I can imagine someone actually saying this. I've talked like this before, so I know someone may speak like this. It seems like it has little objective, but the speaker seems pensive and yes, as Topop commented, it almost seems like theres more to the story than this. You leave us wondering. The link between:  Alexandra...old envolopes...daddy..."blood" red. It keeps me wondering. Very good poem I think. Worth reading again.
 — MrChris

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