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Aversion Shift

My trepidation speaks with fury
for when you see your about to live
nothing happens the way
supposed to
grabbed ahold of threat by the neck.
I ravaged the entrails of an enemy sworn
and i haven't seen its agents
some time

30 Aug 03

Rated 5.5 (5.3) by 2 users.
Active (2):
Inactive (1): 5, 5, 6

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I like the point of the poem but there are a few odd items:
- why break up lines 4 and 5? The same with 9 - 11. It's disjointed this way (maybe intentionally because of "nothing happens the way its supposed to"?).
- your = you're
 — boothben

When you start with a misspelled word, it's hard to take you seriously.
This poem needs to be proofread for spelling and grammar.
 — unknown

thank you for being honest

 — Brandxxx

 — Brandxxx