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How to fix the world – Step one
katt

Fix yourself
 1
Some say it’s not possible
 2
I say
 3
others may have caused you pain
 4
but  you are the only one who can
 5
fix you
 6
They control your past
 7
but your imagination is the limitless boundary
 8
of your future
 9
 
 
Live it
 10
 
 
Stop facing your fear
 11
No, stop lying
 12
I can see your eyes
 13
long ago your face grew pale
 14
and froze,
 15
preserved for eons
 16
 
 
Change it
 17
 
 
fears that paralyze are evil
 18
those that galvanize are good
 19
To be afraid of something greater
 20
is to be brave
 21
 
 
Brave it
 22
 
 
and be afraid
 23
of  wrongly winning a debate.
 24
Feel the terror of never learning from your mistakes
 25
of becoming stagnant,
 26
dying in the face of dissent.
 27
 
 
Fear it
 28

I am very hungry. I wonder what that does to my poem quality?

4 May 06

Rated 10 (8.3) by 1 users.
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Comments:

I love the message in this poem.
 — Maela

Lovely poem. Have a burger.
 — gingerdave

great poem, great message - shame nobody will listen.
R
 — Rousseau

I SO NEEDED to hear this today.  I'm perpetually afraid of living in a new state and I'm kinda frozen lately, so thankyou for this much needed boot in "me ass."  Great poem.
 — starr

thank you all for your comments, im glad it helps starr.

I feel, that there could still be come room for improvement... any suggestions?
 — katt

Perhaps:
L5/6: "but you are the only one who can / fix you"
L8: Did you intend for the contradiction in "limitless boundary?"
Is the period at the end of 23 intentional?

Really, there's not much to change here. You could probably bring the rhythm out a bit, because it's somewhat buried now, but it's in no way lacking because of that.

^_^
 — phyridean

I really like this katt. L25 reminds me of a saying, 'experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes'. The message about courage, (if I interpreted it right), I also like. I was once told that courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to face/accept/change things, (love, life, challenges etc) despite the existance of fear. Am I way off beam here? Apologies if I've gone off the beaten track.
I really, really like this.
 — marionette

Thank you again for your comments.

Phy: Limitless boundary sounded cool, now that I think about it, it could sound like a boundary that is insurmountable, we can never surpass it, which could be negative. I intended for it to mean the boundary can never truly be defined, there is a boundary, that is as much as you can imagine, but it is limitless in the area it surounds so it really isnt a boundary at all; you can put it where ever you want to so it is not really a boundary.

Marionette: You have my message spot on. You are just saying it in a different way. It took me a long time to learn that people can think differently but come to the same end result. The spin you gave it is exactly that. I'm glad you like it, I am obsessed with making a real difference in the world, mostly with telling people one method that might work, I am on step 1 of said method. i am glad to see it, recieved well.

I guess I was expecting comments along the lines of what a friend of mine would say... which were, its impossible to fix the world, I am stupid for trying. I can tell those that have commented so far don't think that way, but i still wonder what they would say.
 — katt

Phew! Glad I didn't miss your intended point. That's how change is brought about Katt, by one person trying to make a difference, and then another and then another. You are not alone in your quest for making "the world" or indeed your own world, a better place. And if people scoff at your idealistic dreams and try to stumble you, just remember this...stumbling stones can be turned into stepping stones. Get what I'm saying?
 — marionette

Yeah I get it, ^_^, thanks again.
 — katt

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