| Revenge of an Irish Witch
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Isabelle5
| The Irish in me rises up – | 1 |
this impudent and willful pup, | 2 |
who dares to play my heart and soul | 3 |
like Playdough in a plastic bowl. | 4 |
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So he believes he can bring in | 5 |
another girl, add to his sin? | 6 |
He dared to ask her to his bed? | 7 |
What folly dances in his head? | 8 |
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I wait until the moon is high, | 9 |
raise up my arms to Mother Sky, | 10 |
bring down the words – chapter and verse – | 11 |
gift him with an Irish curse. | 12 |
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The night he brings this woman near – | 13 |
Listen, Spirits, loud and clear! | 14 |
His body falters, can’t perform, | 15 |
despite her body, nude and warm. | 16 |
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Despite her help and heated hand | 17 |
(this harlot with her wedding band), | 18 |
the only thing her time has bought | 19 |
is that which can’t be found, though sought. | 20 |
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The manhood that grows hard with me | 21 |
will shrivel in her company, | 22 |
and all the pleasure they would know | 23 |
like his limp tool, refuse to grow. | 24 |
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He risked the night, he brought her hence | 25 |
and bought himself his recompense. | 26 |
When she had left, he came to me, | 27 |
acknowledged my bewitchery. | 28 |
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No consummation in his bed, | 29 |
humiliation in his head. | 30 |
Now he believes and does pronounce | 31 |
myself the goddess; he, the louse. | 32 |
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So listen well before you cheat, | 33 |
before Adultery’s burning heat, | 34 |
if you still choose to scratch that “itch,” | 35 |
recall the curse of your Irish Witch. | 36 |
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24 May 06 |
Rated 9 (9.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (3): 5, 8, 10
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Comments:
first line reminded me of cisnero's "loose woman," but you lost me from there - some of the line breaks and word choice (that supports the rhyme scheme) breaks down the flow. Fun idea, though.
— WordsAndMe
Oh, and I love L15-17. :P That's the way I see my Irish great-grandmother cursing a man who crossed her...she's one mean, drunk irish woman :)
— WordsAndMe
I'm noting your note on the comment board and will come to comment on your poems, you sweet poet! I look all nice and sweet but I do have my bitter, witchy side, well cultivated watching my own sweet Irish grandmother who brooked no disrespect from men! ps - it worked, much to my shock and delight! hahaha
— Isabelle5
*laughs for ages* Oh, and I was so hoping it did work!! :) Ah, life is pretty brilliant sometimes... :P
— WordsAndMe
Fact is that I care very much about this man and he does not have this "problem" with me. I believe in the energy of thoughts, the ability of a person to convince someone else of things that can/will happen and I am generally quite careful to speak positively because of the implications. He is with me for a little longer and then I shall release him, as he is not mine to own or to play with, he is my friend.
(But i'm still pleased that it worked with this particular woman! She has a husband, leave the single men to the single women!)
— Isabelle5
I certainly hope I don't have you to blame for my husband's difficulties with me! :-O :-D Do you have anything to reverse the process? ;-)
— unknown
*prepared to sound totally teenager and stupid* ...is this a common problem? should i brace myself for the future?... :P
— WordsAndMe
If you're a guy, be nice to the women you are intimate with! Always! As for your husband...are you Irish and has he annoyed you lately? I don't mess with married men, EVER, so it's not me!
— Isabelle5
:-P I'm but a humble teenager, Isabelle :) [[who is now totally freaked out by the propsect of a man and me having this issue in the future!!!]] Hah, a great peice, love.
— WordsAndMe
i love this a real incantation the celt in me is aroused
— unknown
This is great! I felt the power of it: it gave me goosebumps. I am a firm believer in our power to shape life with words and intention, and this was just a charming application of such power. Brava!
I can't think of any changes to recommend, but I will say that I'd not be able to enunciate the last line properly. "This Irish Witch" is a tongue-twister for me!
— Maela
Okay, I changed the end to make it a personal note the guy from the woman he cheated on. Hope that helps with the tongue twisting.
— Isabelle5
Oh, nice! I like it.
— Maela
Maela, did my e-mail get to you? I'm having a lot of "demon" rejections. sad
— Isabelle5
I didn't like it until that last stanza, which has a lot, a lot, of bite.
Not your best work, it feels forced. Like you were a slave to your rhyme scheme.
— unknown
I'm disappointed if it sounds forced - it flowed easily out while I was writing it. I have taken the curse off and wished him better with the next woman. I'm out of it.
— Isabelle5
Can I borrow the curse to use on someone else? Do you take phone orders??
— unknown
I see no forced rhyme and it reads quite smooth to me. I can relate--my wife is Irish.
— PaulS
are the Irish really all hot-tempered and rash?
— unknown
Maybe hot tempered, rarely rash.
— Isabelle5
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