poetry critical

online poetry workshop



the freckles on your nose...
X

...are a real cute constellation.
 1
When I try to write you prose
 2
I just lose my concentration,
 3
'cause you're a poem, head to toe--
 4
5 foot 3 alliteration.
 5
The freckles on your nose
 6
are a real cute constellation.
 7

31 May 06

Rated 10 (8.6) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (20): 5, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(27 more poems by this author)

(8 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

oh, wow. this seems as if were written just for me. how sweet of you.
 — inutile

Cute.  I like it.
 — fallinforyou

haha, this is really cute. :3
 — missmurder

oh my god. cliche, but just about the absolute best cliche thing i've ever read. you get a 9.
 — claudia

we have a user called 5 foot 3
 — unknown

ooh wow, a good reception.  well thank you all.  i've been off PC for about a month now, so I was leery submitting a shorter new poem because my trend has been to write long series of stanzas, but it's very comforting seeing your kind comments. now i guess i'll take away that unknown name.  thanks all, keep livin' the dream.

haha, and that's pretty humorous there's a user called 5 foot 3.  i didn't know.  i ought to go look them up right now.
 — X

this is tres cute! love the rhyme scheme
 — tragicbubble

gah so sweet!
 — unknown

why thank you!  gotta love those sentimental quickies
 — X

Just because we have heard an idea before does not make it cliche - it is not overused here!
I like it and its not cliche!
 — unknown

again, i find myself admiring x.
 — inutile

A poem I wish
had been written to me.
 — unknown

This is so adorable!! love it, instant favorite.
 — marionette

hate it in a loving way :)
 — WordsAndMe

i sure do appreciate it!  marionette, wordsandme, and unknown!
 — X

sweet sweet sweet
 — unknown

such a cute idea. Love it. Don't change a thing.
 — colormehappy

i would get rid of the first line, because i think it makes a better ending than an introduction. but still, its cute : )
 — gears

wouldn't that kill the rhyme?
 — hoagie

I like it at the top and the bottom.  It brings the poem full circle and such...
 — unknown

i like it at the end and beginning too.  its more complete that way and soooo cute
 — unknown

Tightly written, slightly tritely but soooooooo romantic!  Give it to somebody@!
 — Isabelle5

I hear cute and romantic, but I just want to see someone rap this...
 — Mai

Is this a joke? Because I am laughing.
 — pra3torian

8.8, I am laughing, at this so called poetic community.
 — pra3torian

You're actually the punchline of every single poem here. Your presence is needed to help balance the ying.
 — unknown

lol, I know you're hysterical!
 — unknown

this is adorable<3!
 — cbowserrr

It's tre cute, I love the use of the word "alliteration" but the rhyme was a tad distracting.
 — FolleRouge

Pra3, since you find it your palce to laugh at the writing of others, why is it you don't post any of your own work. It's really easy to give crap when you don't have to take any isn't it?!?
 — unknown

I agree this is a constructive site, not for bashing poems. if you have an issue, tell the writer what you think they should change, don't just dis poems without backing it up. If thats what you want to do, find somewhere else to do it.
 — unknown

an amusing read, adorable
 — xtormentedx

a-friggin-dorable.
love it.
 — Spunkee

cute, if a guy wrote something llike this for me i'd be very flattered.
 — Thea

not bad...
 — aerol

Not bad at all.
8
 — lieskilllies

awwwwww!!!
 — unknown

Aw man, you win this round. Adorable.
 — jcameron

this is supercute, i love it!!
 — mmoneypenny

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL???
 — unknown

this is a great example of a poem that uses rhyme well. seems like no one knows how to rhyme and make it sound natural.
 — shakeit

it is cute, but rhyming -ation, -ation, -ation is really pretty easy
 — unknown

this is good.
: )
 — fractalcore

thank you :]  and oldie but goodie.  i appreciate all your comments. reading them makes me want to put more stuff up, since these poems are nearly two years old--keep your eyes open!
 — X

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