| My Life, in Lines like Leather
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Isabelle5
| If I were a wallet, I’d be well-worn leather, | 1 |
soft and pliable, dusky pink and faded tan, | 2 |
the color of a woman touched many times, | 3 |
inspected for hidden treasure, | 4 |
with pockets of credit, compartments | 5 |
for emergency change. | 6 |
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I’d be slender but slightly sagging, | 7 |
as though I was once much larger, | 8 |
stretched to my limits, | 9 |
pregnant with life’s currency, | 10 |
carrying price tags and love notes | 11 |
where money might have been. | 12 |
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The story of my life easy-to-read | 13 |
in the creases, each wrinkle | 14 |
bearing its own tale of joy or woe, | 15 |
a simple woman going through | 16 |
her own quiet space of time, | 17 |
lost in the bushes at the side of the road, | 18 |
waiting to be found, hoping the loss of me | 19 |
to anyone is more than just a hole | 20 |
in a vagrant’s pocket. | 21 |
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2 Jun 06 |
Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (4): 2, 9, 9, 10
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Comments:
to my eyes, this is among your best. No nits to pick, except I think "tan" or "beige" works better than "white" ( last word, L 2 ) if you catch my drift.
Lovely poem
Grace ( I have to log in to rate. Hold on a minute. )
— unknown
Here ya go, IMC.
— borntodance
tan is better than beige, but beige is better than white
— borntodance
Thank you! I changed it to "dusky pink and tan." What a great observation and suggestion!
— Isabelle5
Classy poem .Really well put together with an absolutely lovely feel.
Larry loose change Lark
— larrylark
Oh, look! I finally got a "ur poem sucks." I've been waiting...
— Isabelle5
If you want to be a wallet that a woman has touched many times, then you would undoubtebly be an empty wallet.
— pra3torian
hahaha! No, I'm a female wallet, men are always trying to slip something to us, whatever they can manage!
— Isabelle5
Yep, I know, but my joke wouldn't flow well if I used your idea.
I am just waiting for the amazonians to pounce.....
— pra3torian
I have never read nor thought of a comparison of a person to a wallet, but its so perfect! At least you make it so in this poem. Bravo. Very lovely, especially l2 through l4. You might reconsider the wording in the last two lines. "someone's loss of her" just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe just drop "of her". Or maybe replace "someone's" with "the". Other than that, this is a poignant portrait of womanhood.
— Machsee
Machsee, I took your comment to heart and change line 19. It was awkward, now it's better and more concise. Thanks! imc
— Isabelle5
I almost feel it should be a semi-colon at the end of L15, but I could be wrong.
That's all I have to offer, lol, I loved this too much for there to be anything I would change.
It's lovely.
— fallinforyou
You'll never know how ironic it was for me to log onto PC and have this poem pop up. I know the poem is probably not intended to be taken at face value... See,yesterday I lost my wallet. My old, special, favourite wallet that has such sentimental value to me because it was a birthday gift from my mom.
So, yes, your poem struck a sensitive chord in more than one way...
— Nostalgia
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