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Touched by a spirit.

Is there a bridge running through
the supernatural world where mist obscures
truth, concealed within waterfalls
which link to the river of insanity?
Life's perceived through doors to this world
as she stands upon the rickety bridge,
her eyes far seeing, further than the rest,
her mind is free, her body a prisoner.
A gifted child, born with a curse,
genius abused to insanity,
exists in images, supernatural wisdom;
hers to hold or bestow on mankind.

18 Jun 06

Rated 9 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (3): 8, 8, 10

(define the words in this poem)

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 — linushh

    This is lovely, but somewhat difficult to read with present punctuation.
   I'd suggest dropping the comma in line 4, and the 2d stanza doesn't read as a complete sentence.  There are a number of minor ways to tweak that; I'd also suggest ending line 10 with a comma, and line 11 with a semicolon.
   The words and sound of this poem are really quite good.  I normally don't care much for abstract poems, but this has enough tangible imagery and such a lovely sound that I like it regardless.
 — mikkirat

Love the imagery in this poem...you seem to bring the setting alive in my mind.  Last line-"Hers to hold or bestow on mankind" maybe?  And in line 8 did you mean something like "her mind is free, but her body is a prison for it"?  Not saying to change 8 to this, ust wondering if that is what you meant by it.  Good peom.
 — SaleenDriva

thanks SaleenDriva, I have edited that suggestion in, thanks.
Her body is a prisoner for her mind in the way that she may actually be considered insane by people who don't want to believe in her gift. Is she insane or pshycic?
Thanks for commenting, glad you liked it.
 — marieF

Thanks mikkirat, thinking on re wording 2nd stanza, thanks for pointing that out.
 — marieF

ah wow this is lovely. it kind of makes it seem real the way you hhave worded it.

correct me if i'm wrong but it says to me that she is psychich? I love it x
 — darklinstorm

Wow! This is really good!!!
 — livedeeply

thank you so much erin and darklinstorm. Yes she is psychic but people consider her insane.
 — marieF

I like this one particularly the deliniationof the gifted ones as outsiders.Unfortunately the world is run by the theory of the lowest common denominator.
 — larrylark