poetry critical

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winter passing

love, she said
is fragile,
and a chore
to keep alive.
I paused a bit
to ponder
as I thought of
past goodbyes.
slowly then
I offered
as I drew
a frosty sigh:
that may be so,
but this I know
it comes to me to die.

1 Jul 06

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this is a lovely poem, minimalist and very evocative.  Lines 1-4 kept my attention and urged me to read onward.  A "chore" you say, and you might be right.  I like the grammacal construction in lines 9-12, two actions happening parallel ... a frosty sigh is an excellent image of love's fragile body ... not kept alive. I would only suggest one small change - in order to keep the 4 line structure of this work, might you consider making line 15 in two lines "it somes to me / to die."

Wonderful work, thank you for posting
 — slancho

Excellent poem
 — unknown

I love this.
 — jerotich