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i know which way the wind blows
stateofmind

you look into my eyes like
 1
you'll find something there but
 2
you won't
 3
and i want to tell you that
 4
the stars you thought you saw were
 5
just aeroplanes set to crash
 6

9 Aug 06

Rated 7 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (10): 2, 2, 7, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(11 more poems by this author)

(4 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

excellent!
 — bleach

Superb
 — unknown

You made me say excellent, shame on on you.
 — Meep

Love it!
 — Nostalgia

very nice!
 — mejustme

whoa!
nice.
this is meriting some very short comments.
 — alana

You look into my eyes
like you'll find something there
but you won't  
the stars you thought you saw
were just airplanes
about to crash

Just playing with the phrasing. I like this poem - but I don't know if smiling at it was an appropriate response or not.
 — Kita

AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!  This is SO GOOD!  I can't believe how much you pack into a poem this bitsy size.  

Now about the lack of punctuation...
 — Isabelle5

love the concept, i like kita's rephrasing,

i'd go through it and tweak it for sonics
 — Ananke

I think l4 is pretty essential. Don't know how I feel about parting with that.
 — stateofmind

simple but i like this because of what it says. the title is loosely connected to the content of the poem but at the same time you know the title is crucial and a key. nice.
 — listen

It bugs me this is all in lower case with no punctuation.  I feel it is difficult to read like that, was there a reason for it or did it just end up that way?  Why no capital 'I'?
 — propoet50

It's just a matter of personal preference. I personally don't like punctuating my poems.
 — stateofmind

I'm wondering whether or not I should change the last line to 'airplanes on the verge of crash' or 'airplanes on the verge of crash landing.' Something along those lines? Any ideas? Should I just leave it as it is?
 — stateofmind

nicely cold and dead. Your poem reminds me of disappointment never the less it's very good. excellent
 — vida

outstanding.
 — of_shoes

I would personally leave the last line just the way it is. the last two lines are what really pulled this poem together in my opinion.
 — autumnsea

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