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dusting glass
ilikeblue

remember those butterflies you once placed in my stomach?
 1
the ones that would dance about madly at the most inopportune moments
 2
namely, whenever I saw you
 3
 
 
well, thank goodness they're now preserved
 4
pinned up and under glass
 5
admire them for what they once were: graceful and alluring
 6
 
 
such are these memories
 7
beautiful when remembered
 8
yet dead and gone when the feeling no longer lingers
 9

17 Sep 06


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Comments:

mmmm i like the nostalgiac tone, too.  What a great idea... I've never heard about butterflies being pinned before.  I can easily identify with the imagery.  Good!
 — OwlGirl

i think you mean "at the most" in line 2?

i must say that i don't like the punctuation in this poem, it's either not enough for pedants to appreciate, or too much for the simplicity of having none.

line 7 seems a bit bland compared to the wonders of the other lines.
 — inutile

This one really touched me. I am not skilled enough to comment on the punctuation and flow, but the concept and symbolism hit me close to heart. (and especially so since my butterflies are rogue at the moment so I'm just trying to pin them to end the pain).
 — void-ego

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