| Fairy Tales and Alimony
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Isabelle5
| "Sticks and stones can break your bones | 1 |
but my words will never hurt you," | 2 |
she promised with a giggle and a kiss. | 3 |
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He licked his lips to sample her sweetness, | 4 |
then wet his index finger with the tip | 5 |
of his long pink tongue, | 6 |
counting the bills carefully, | 7 |
one by one, in payment for the bridge | 8 |
she had just sold him. | 9 |
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"What big eyes you have," he growled softly, | 10 |
anticipating his juicy pounce. | 11 |
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She smiled innocently and while she waited | 12 |
for him to hand over the cold hard cash, | 13 |
she fingered the spindle in her pocket | 14 |
and dreamed of spinning straw into gold. | 15 |
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16 Oct 03 |
Rated 8 (6.4) by 5 users.
Active (5): 5, 9, 9
Inactive (15): 1, 1, 1, 1, 3, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10
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(236 more poems by this author)
(6 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
okay....its good i guess if you hand it to a 13 year old... but if your trying to aim it towards Supurp.....you've got a long way to go.
— unknown
Nice touches of magic realism
Susanna
— unknown
Come on, you guys, this is very amusing, if I say so myself. Think about what's going on here. The girl is scaming the wolf, who thinks that he's going to get the goodies but he just bought a bridge that doesn't exist. And she's going to take him for all he's worth - spin the straw into gold.
Did I make it too obscure or is it just too lousy? I wasn't trying to be deep, just having a bit of fun.
— Isabelle5
I hope this might help with the subtle meanings hidden throughout.
You all know the "sticks and stones verse," I'm sure. It's so common. But she says at the end, MY words will never hurt you, then she giggles and kisses him. Feminine wiles at work, acting as though she's a bubble head with fairly easy virtue.
The wolf licks his chops comtemplating her taste, hoping for more. He bought the bridge. He would have done anything at that moment, to have her, to possess her, to get into her good graces. There's the old saying, "If you believe that story, I have a bridge you can buy." A sucker born every moment kind of thing.
And as he counts the money to pay her for a bridge he will discover does not exist, he imagines his next move, which is to jump her bones.
But she's watching and waiting, seeing all that money (what big eyes you have!), and she has the main part of a spinning wheel in her pocket, also symbolic of the spindle Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on (and died), and she is imagining that she will be able to "prick" him, (sexual innuendo, plus the spindle is a phallic symbol of sorts) seduce him with the very thing he is planning to impale her with, and then she will take this little straw man, spin him right into court and turn this little monetary moment into tons and tons of gold (via alimony).
Does that help?
— Isabelle5
Isabelle, like I said, it's magic realism! I love it.
Susanna
— unknown
Susanna, thank you. I said too much, huh? :< Nothing worse than a poet who has to explain each and every word to death. (Hmmm, can I find a fairy tale to suit that?)
— Isabelle5
This is diamond disguised in a child's marble. It is so rich with allusion and double meaning that is hard to get a handle on it. Definitely one of your most artistic creations yet, Isabelle.
— boothben
Isabelle-
some idiot made that first comment- pay no heed to it. (heck, they misspelled "superb" and used ellipses three times!!) anyway, i like susanna's comment- the magic realism here makes it great. it weaves a mundane reality into a poetic fairy tale. and no, your ideas were not too obscure for people to read them- i understood what was going on, anyway.
along with "feeling frosty," i really like your latest poems-- they're refreshing and different.
-root
— unknown
I gotta agree with you, root. I like!! rob
— unknown
This poem is so good -the more I read it, the more I enjoy it, so sly and clever, so not what it appears to be and so true to life, so much a dream and yet so real.
One of my favourites here.
Once again,I wish I'd written this,
Susanna
— unknown
Thank you all so much. It has made me feel better today. Coming from poets I respect, this means a lot.
— Isabelle5
*yawn*
you try way to hard.
— unknown
Correction: you mean "you try way TOO hard". This has been a service of your spelling God. Thank you for your cooperation.
— unknown
Actually (**) I didn't try at all. It just spun itself out, complete and happy with itself. (Note to commenter.)
— Isabelle5
I'm frustrated. You have the imagination and potential here but need to change a narrative in to a poem with brevity.
— Caducus
love the title by the way
— Caducus
Caducus, can you explain what you mean, please?
— Isabelle5
Well I love it. Honestly I did not get that he was the wolf (maybe throw in a licking the chops to make it a little more obvious?) But I got the rest. I love the way it's the unknown people who are being negative.... Turning it into a story would ruin it. It needs to be subtle and light. good stuff
XxXx
— Minx
i love the obscurity in this, it leaves it a little more open to connotation on the part of the reader.
nice.
-laina
— unknown
A nice take on the prose-y poem. Love how sly it is. Great stuff.
— ka
I really liked this. Something keeps coming at you, verse after verse. It's interesting and nicely written.
— unknown
this one brings the suck.
— unknown
I like your poem much because it is obscure in a way.
— tiny
Im 13 and YES... I did really like it!!!
— Angelicfire
Look you dont half to spell it out
often that only dims the relative prospect on contemplation
if people dont get it tuff there just stupid
or well ignorant at having been denied higher literate education
The poem is great worth publishing even
half thes people commenting cant even write one gramaticly correct sentence if it hit them in the face
— unknown
It didn't do it for me. I don't like the idea really, but that's my opinion.
— unknown
half thes people commenting cant even write one gramaticly correct sentence if it hit them in the face
— unknown
half thes people commenting cant even write one gramaticly correct sentence if it hit them in the face
you sound an ass, is all i can say. take a look at yourself, sunshine.
— wendz
Hey wendz...if you are commenting on above comment, I was reiterating what the 'sunshine' (unknown) above me said. ^
*sunshine*
— unknown
It really liked it. The fairytale bits are funny. Indeed the concept behind it is wonderful, but it's very unappealing when you comment on your own work. Otherwise, I really like it. One of my favorites.
— Dead
what, isn't this poetry critical not prose critical?
— noneisreal
it's actually pretty amazing because there are a few layers to it. on a first read it's just magical. and then you read it again to understand. a great way to make sure readers go through it more than once ;) good job.
— sugaraindrop
the spinning straw to gold metaphor is perfect-the structure may take away from the delivery though-
— bromileade
this is cute and clever, but after reading and watching about 10 different versions af little red riding hood, and then writing an essay about the similarities and differences, i'm a little sick of these fairytales with morals. nice to see a little bit of sexual innuendo thrown in, too. what would shakespeare have done without those?
nice to see the girl wins for once, in this world for men.
— Lia
this is intriguing. nice work.
— scenecharade
Is this a slight analogy to the Londoners selling an American chap London Bridge... not Tower Bridge as he'd imagined? 'cold hard cash' is too much of a cliche for my liking, but I liked the realism of the "sticks and stones..." quotation; the first stanza is excellent. But how can a pounce be juicy?
— TheDiogenes
Juicy pounce! Think, Man! Would man jump a girl for a dry pounce? Reference is not to an actual bridge, it's the metaphorical one that people offer to sell you if you are gullible.
The cold hard cash is cliched, which is the point of the piece. Smart women in dumb blonde (no offense to any blondes here!) attire.
— Isabelle5
You lost your virginity when you were twelve.
— yeesher
That was random stuff.
Try having a scheme next time.....
Rated 1
— unknown
If you think it was random, you don't even belong here reading poetry. Keep your 1, I'm happy without it. Why waste a rate or a comment? Even if this was not my writing, I'd be happy with the little story, the hidden sly meanings and the questionable ending.
Go read a fairy tale and come back and comment when you grow a set.
— Isabelle5
That was funky! In a good way.
You probably wrote this a long time ago...
It morphs magnificently!
— Infrangible
hell i LOVE this, fantastic!
— Thea
OMG! I love the seocnd stanza! This is poignant.
— HeyPoet
I'm a fan of this poem, but I was moreso before I read your explanation. The fact is that you've written a poem that has the properties of a good cloud; it can be interpreted any number of ways, and though, as the author, you have your own intent, I think it's a better read not knowing, because it makes a tale of its own.
I'm not really a fan of the multi-layered, proverb packed aspect of it, because that requires that the reader think in the same way that you do. Half the fun of writing a poem is seeing what people make of it. Of course, somtimes the poem speaks for itself, but the other side of that coin is a poem like this, which seems like it could say Something different to every person to come across it. Unless, of course, you spell it out for us, at which point it seems to lose some of its magic.
It's a nice piece, but I preferred my imagintion to fill in the gaps.
P.S. the last two lines are candy. Pure candy.
— WindingRhyme
LOL - nice title. Fairy tales are perhaps likely to lead to alimony. I wish I had been the giggler and not the wolf in this story. Perhaps I should write a poem about alimony, I certainly have strong feelings about it. Hmm...
— rocket
I love the explanation.
Larry
— larrylark
Great work.
— JerryReed
the meaning behind it catches you at the end. i liked this alot ^_^
— Rss233
isabelle is a very bad writer, really slovenly and thick.
— unknown
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