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Stuck in Duncan by means of bus fare.

My arms were tickled when morning drizzled
acid-wash light over my cheek-bones,
and swished pale color
over the closed corner store.
When he grinned,
his gums gushed of red
10 cent lollipops,
like he'd been pushed
straight out of a satire
and onto my chest
as if he didn't already own
my entire body.

25 Sep 06

Rated 10 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 10
Inactive (2): 5, 7, 10

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the first line makes me not want to read on but the rest  i like alot more. i get alot of imagery from the closed corner store andthen go back up and relate the "swished pale color' to the stores imagery also.
i very much like the middle its my favorite part   i taste blood and cherry
the last part  i relate to someone i know.  i also dig the title
 — never

Why is red italicized?
I think there should be a comma at the end of L10.  Not sure.
 — MEB

haha, this is great.
you are the duncan writer, i remember now!

grinning and gushing of lollipops,
acid wash jeans
corner store?  ha, did we go to school together?
love this poem.

i was stuck in duncan once
with a couple of drunks
and no money.
and it rained.  
always raining.
 — jenakajoffer

still loving this poem.

sybarite, read this one.
 — jenakajoffer

i keep thinking the title should be 'no bus fare' but what do i know.

gushed red
is better than gushed of red.

thanks, still love it.
 — jenakajoffer

Kay Jen, I'm reading this one.  Duncan, holy crap, I was born there (if you mean Duncan, BC?)  5-7 are kinda deliciously creepy.
 — sybarite