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Rape
eurobaby

Running so fast
 1
I was trying to escape
 2
 
 
Fatigue set in
 3
& then I got raped
 4
 
 
Mad money was made
 5
When the whole thing got taped
 6
 
 
It was that night
 7
He was concieved
 8
 
 
And 9 months later
 9
a Baby boy was recieved
 10
 
 
Like a vision
 11
That just cant be believed
 12
 
 
Cradled in my arms
 13
Is a constant reminder of being deceived
 14

11 Oct 06

Rated 10 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(5 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

decieved
 — unknown

thanks I suck at spelling!
 — eurobaby

i before e except after c
ergo- deceive
         receive
         conceive
etc...
 — unknown

Deceived, correct the spelling, please.

I am not even sure how to rate this so I won't right now.  
 — Isabelle5

too forced for me...
the rhyming scheme is off...maybe try getting rid of some needless words...I think you could also use some stronger words..and maybe the subject matter doesn't suit this rhyming style- try free verse?

without changing your words though, hows this sound?

running so fast
-trying to escape

fatigue set in
-I got raped

Mad money was made
the thing got taped

etc etc...
 — RONALD_TETTO

Holy crap Dana!
This is so sad, intense, in a really good way. I like it.  I do agree that some words could be omitted without changing the poem for a more punchy delivery, like Ronald up there ^ said, if you wanted to tighten it up.  But otherwise, this is great.  
Jen
 — jenakajoffer

Thanks for your comments every one...
What I dont understand is why people like "B" bother posting comments like they do, I wouldnt waste my time if I had something so ridiculous to say!
 — eurobaby

I agree, where's the moderator now??  C'mon Bologna, that's low even for you.
 — jenakajoffer

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