poetry critical

online poetry workshop

It Started With a Spoon

This is a poem very dear and close to me. It is a story of pain, loss, and regret.

My friends were given the label,
As the couple who made love on the table.
When she almost lost her life,
for through her rear came a knife.
You can catch my whole fable on cable.

23 Oct 06

Rated 1 (1.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 1, 1, 2, 7

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Pretty intense. Sex, violence, cable.
 — OKcomputer

sorry, but I can't read this as a story of pain, but one of hilarity. Maybe I just don't get it.
 — unknown

Ew, forced rhyme and a fucked metrical form. And like, limericks are so well known for being about pain, loss and regret! You should hook up with chuckles.
 — unknown

it's all about engaging the reader Henry . . . err, I mean "Max." If this was so "close" to you as you stay it is, then it wouldn't sound trite and sophomoric. A suggestion: start reading poetry; once you do that, read more and after that, read some more. Then attempt to write some of your own poems.
 — unknown

Max...this isn't really very good. I bet it wouldn't be on cable...probably the public access channel.
 — Henry

hi. thanks for the comments. this is not bad. very 'kill bill' violent to me, less dramatic though.
 — miss_minx

Hmm...after looking over it again, I discovered that you really are a poetic genius. Good work Max. Great title.
 — Henry

this poem sucks.
 — unknown

your last line would work better if you mentioned something like "laying a cable", considering line 4,  but if this is a true story, then I suppose you'd want to keep the events as is.
 — jenakajoffer