poetry critical

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It Started With a Spoon
Maximilian

This is a poem very dear and close to me. It is a story of pain, loss, and regret.

My friends were given the label,
 1
As the couple who made love on the table.
 2
When she almost lost her life,
 3
for through her rear came a knife.
 4
You can catch my whole fable on cable.
 5

23 Oct 06

Rated 1 (1.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (3): 1, 1, 2, 7

(define the words in this poem)
(1 more poem by this author)



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Comments:

Pretty intense. Sex, violence, cable.
 — OKcomputer

sorry, but I can't read this as a story of pain, but one of hilarity. Maybe I just don't get it.
 — unknown

Ew, forced rhyme and a fucked metrical form. And like, limericks are so well known for being about pain, loss and regret! You should hook up with chuckles.
 — unknown

it's all about engaging the reader Henry . . . err, I mean "Max." If this was so "close" to you as you stay it is, then it wouldn't sound trite and sophomoric. A suggestion: start reading poetry; once you do that, read more and after that, read some more. Then attempt to write some of your own poems.
 — unknown

Max...this isn't really very good. I bet it wouldn't be on cable...probably the public access channel.
 — Henry

hi. thanks for the comments. this is not bad. very 'kill bill' violent to me, less dramatic though.
 — miss_minx

Hmm...after looking over it again, I discovered that you really are a poetic genius. Good work Max. Great title.
 — Henry

this poem sucks.
 — unknown

your last line would work better if you mentioned something like "laying a cable", considering line 4,  but if this is a true story, then I suppose you'd want to keep the events as is.
 — jenakajoffer

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