poetry critical

online poetry workshop

sorry I watered your sweater

when you leave clothes here
I let them lie
hoping they will sprout
and grow you

25 Oct 06

Rated 9.3 (8.1) by 5 users.
Active (5): 8, 9, 9, 10
Inactive (46): 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 5, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(77 more poems by this author)

(42 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


I like this. I'm not sure if it's clever or just late, but either way, I definately felt a "Ha!" moment there. and I liked it.
 — SteelAngel

bittersweet and deep.
 — Artemis

Oh, sweet. Feels almost like a haiku. I like it.
 — septima_pica

This is heartbreaking, lovely.
 — rattlesnakes

i liked this. it was short though full of vividness. and emotion. almost wanting it to happen though i can't do anything for you. very good!
 — misterpoet

thank you all for the support
 — AtomBombJohn

This is great.
Clever and cool.
 — Krttika

very clever, especially when thinking about the myriad of other insifficiently meaningful ways to say "I miss you"
thank you
 — slancho

its strange, but it has a nice simplicity.
 — topop

I think the title should be included in the poem for it to make sense, but I like the bizzarity anbd originality here.
 — icepineapple

I love this.  Immensely.
 — modestmuse

That's beautiful. I apologise for not knowing enough about poetry to say anything else but I love this.
 — Courtney01

 — FolleRouge

I have to say, I almost cried.
 — Joanie_UND

not bad.
 — aerol

i like it. a lot.
 — andreamarie

are we dancing in the parade of disco lights yet? this could be the beginning of a good poem; this as is stands incomplete. i'm left humming the tune because I know only half of the lyrics, catch me now Laika?
 — unknown

how adorable.
 — marshponds

 — unknown

I have read this many times since you posted, and I just love it.  
It reminds me of the longing and uncertainty I felt when I first fell in love with my boyfriend.  
His boxers sprouted not too long ago, and now I have a magnolia tree in the backyard to remind me of his love when he's not here.
Really beautiful way to express a situation so many of us have felt.
 — jenakajoffer

Oh yes,  I love the title too.
 — jenakajoffer

I'd change lay to lie.  Other than that (and lack of punctuation), this is cute.
 — Isabelle5

Simplicity. This is wonderful, and I don't think you need two more lines or even one more. You say it all. 10 points for two lines and a title that sum up what volumes of poetry have blabbered on about through the centuries.
 — NeighborDi

i love it.
 — slowtesque

very cute.
 — KaliDevi

Very Charlie Brownesque. 8/10
 — Henry

I thought you hated French ... ?
 — unknown

yeah, i love it. very clever. wish i wrote this. hehehe.
 — adhector

wonderfully clever...i like this
 — GreenDreams

I am in love with this, it's so short, but powerfully conveys an entire stream of memory and emotions.
 — aftershock

 — mister9a

what happened to the rest of this?  i liked it the first time i read it.  it's good as is, but it seems incomplete.  it wasn't long or wordy as it was.  maybe i just feel that way because i know there used to be more, but i liked the rest of it too.  maybe you should post both, as there seems to be 2 schools of thought on this one. :)
 — balancing

issable was correct it should be lie
 — unknown

this is how it's always been, I assure you.
 — AtomBombJohn

heh.  i remembered it painting such a vivid picture the first time i read it i thought there must have been more.  the sign of something good.  and a sign i need more sleep or something...lol.  
 — balancing

nice poem
 — sir_I_clan

So sweet, makes my sourness dissolve, well maybe just a bit.

Larry po face lark
 — larrylark

I wasn't too crazy about the title, but I certainly liked the poem itself.  
 — mrkhoo

This is great! Exactly the thing to whisper in your lover's ear to keep them there...if just for a second longer.
 — grneyeddevil

So cute!
 — themolly

i always loved this poem.
 — jenakajoffer

"A Softer World" much?

Still -- really good.
 — unknown

d'aww. :3
 — Aziel

oh wow.
= ]
 — JL

just beautiful.
: )
 — fractalcore

Clever, concise, endearing.
 — candykid

wow! i love this!
 — enkantada

 — FrayedSkirt

this is short and sweet, and maybe a little sappy and overly sentimental.

but it brought a genuine smile to my lips, and it made me think of my special someone.

very nice.
 — shakeit

been there.
 — humblebee

very powerful.
 — chriscampbel

yes very sweet and a cleverness without the contrived quality of over thinking the metaphor -- a ten then
 — AlchemiA

love it.
 — brokenarrows

This is wonderful. Only one word or two away from being maudlin, so you stopped just in the nick of time.
nice work.
 — zylan

if those two sets of lines were a pair of lips i would kiss them.  this poem precious in the best sense of the word.
 — mousestmod

It's cute.
 — propoet50

I love this.
 — sharpheart

Haha, really pretty, great image.
 — technomancer

This poem is wonderful! Short enough not to drag on but still full of all the necessary emotion. Well done.
 — ishtarboy300

So very much contained in such and eloquent and concise small package.  Speaks volumes.  Really well done.
 — sybarite

Perfect. Absolutely.
 — unknown

i know this is an old post, but i was just reading though your additional writing.  this is great.  this is one of the sweetest, most sincere expressions of love i have read in a long time.  so simple and so powerful
 — Tandisol

it is the single most touching and relatable poem i have ever read.
i first read this back in '06, and it made me cry.

i'm still crying over it.
 — jenakajoffer

This is a sweet lil diddy.
I like it.
 — mandolyn

I like the poem, but it sounds like an excuse.  last line should be four syllables because of English.  We write poems for our selves, but we have to stand up to our selves.
 — percocet

*sorry.  Post should read:  "English enigma"
 — percocet

doesn't need work. simply perfect as it is.
 — suedehead

This poem is THE BOMB!!!!!  
  >>even with "and" as the start of the last line! :)
 — aforbing