poetry critical

online poetry workshop

beauty is not obsolete

the other day i went
to an art museum
for a class to look at
the beauty that was the
i wandered into
an exhibit full
of intricately carved
the funny thing is
those doors do not
go anywhere anymore
yet they are still beautiful

9 Nov 06

Rated 7 (8.5) by 1 users.
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Inactive (1): 7, 10

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nice little poem. Comforting. Originality goea a long way. Any reason why you didn't capitalise the I's?. I think the start would sound better if went was at the end of line 1 instead of at the start of line 2, but its up too you.
 — icepineapple

I love little poems like this! My poetry is similar... spare, and concerning
pretty little experiences in an expansive voice. Thanks for the inspiration.
 — punua_maikai

thanks i changed line 1
 — bear

Not crash hot about the way this is written, but I like what you're trying to say. Stanzas two and three sound a little forced, or hurried, or thought about too much, if you know what I mean?
 — wendz