poetry critical

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beauty is not obsolete
bear

the other day i went
 1
to an art museum
 2
for a class to look at
 3
the beauty that was the
 4
renaissance
 5
 
 
i wandered into
 6
an exhibit full
 7
of intricately carved
 8
doors
 9
 
 
the funny thing is
 10
those doors do not
 11
go anywhere anymore
 12
 
 
yet they are still beautiful
 13

9 Nov 06

Rated 7 (8.5) by 1 users.
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Comments:

nice little poem. Comforting. Originality goea a long way. Any reason why you didn't capitalise the I's?. I think the start would sound better if went was at the end of line 1 instead of at the start of line 2, but its up too you.
 — icepineapple

I love little poems like this! My poetry is similar... spare, and concerning
pretty little experiences in an expansive voice. Thanks for the inspiration.
-Julia.
 — punua_maikai

thanks i changed line 1
 — bear

Not crash hot about the way this is written, but I like what you're trying to say. Stanzas two and three sound a little forced, or hurried, or thought about too much, if you know what I mean?
 — wendz

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