|E-go Bounding Sixties Style
He go, we go, I go, she go,
down to the Lido,
dancing at the disco.
Sixties pixie, dance-steps tricksy.
Guitar picks licksy,
go for a fixie.
Kaftan, Cheyenne, far man, out man.
Pee in billy can
underneath an afghan.
Joss stick, cool chick, psychic, delphic.
Easy rider, slim, slow slider.
Mind blown on cider,
lay down beside her
Nine months later, don't wanna date her.
Prefer big sister,
should have kissed her instead.
29 Oct 03
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You had me until the very last verse, when suddenly all the ME of those times came roaring back. Except for that last verse, it's fun to read and makes you want to dance in our chair.
A real gem. Loved the way you ended this - great timing. Best bit for me = 9 - 11. I'm smiling again. Thank you very very much.
Fantastic rhythm, original style, excellent work.
Ghostface Killah? It's a good poem. I don't know what to say to you. To the readers who don't get this, I recommend reading the words nice and slowly. It'll make sense.
i love the rhythm of this.
there's a song it makes me think of. billy joel's still rock n' roll tmo e, i think. that's the beat[and the music..] i'm singing those lines to in my head.
listen to the song, then read this over, and you'll see it. the first two stanzas are my favourite.
wow, that was a horrible typo.
Billie Joel - Still Ronk N' Roll to Me
somehow it came out as something else entirely.
pah. great title.
im gonna write bout discos in the eighties now. influenced by this. and write it using techniques like in this maybe. im ripe for a parody.
i fun this
Thanks for the kind comments ,i will pass them on to the hibernating dormouse who wrote this after waking up from a long sleep and thinking he was still in the 60's
Good. More like this.
wow, this is great, i actually danced around, your rhythm is great, it's quite original. i haven't read something like this in a while
thank you for reading and commentating on this homage to my lost youth.
Larry where have all the flowers gone Lark
the rhythm is really catchy!
Glad you like the rythmn
Larry on the beat Lark
goood. i like the flow
Kaftan, Cheyenne, far man, out man, 9
Pee in billy can 10
underneath an afghan. 11
good set of lines there
don't need a weatherman
to know which way the wind blows
don't follow leaders watch your parking meters.
Larry selling postcards of the hanging Lark
2nd stanza- make the words more parallel, either change Sixties pixies to "sixties pixie" or add S s to the rest. Just my opinion, like the rest except some rhymes were a little forced, or maybe I pronounce words differently.
thanks for the suggestion which i agree with and have acted upon.
You are welcome.
i l o v e this. thats all.
Dear adisco dancer
This is one of the first things i wrote and has a dear place in my heart. Glad you liked it
just fab! loved it.
I like cute.
Quite the twisted nursery rhyme, Larry. Love it.
I love nursery lines almost as much as your comment on my poem.
Lotsa fun - reminds me of a song "Pop Music" by a band called M
i liked it alot it has fantastic rhythm everything went great together
clicked on random poems and glad i did. i remember this gem :) excellent playful rhyme and meter.
great rhythm, drew me in immediately,
and i knew instinctively which syllables
to speed up, which to slow down.
well done, but
L17- not fittin' the flow
i read this a cuppla times over
and always tripped there...
glad you enjoted my slalom through the 60's as i think i remember it.
Larry far out man Lark
nice lyric. pretty bubblegum, but the color's pretty. the last stanza is hickok, and maybe "grown to hate her" is gratuitous? the loving spoonful had that "did you ever have to make up your mind," which was also pretty jingly, and it was about this kind of conflct; i think your colors are better and more plastic, but they were new york junkies.
very Dylan. Last verse - a let down, like the end ryhme 'er' should finish with the word masterbat'er'.
Only just got the reference to Ezy Rider and Slim Slow Slider - that make me an old git then? Riding on the highway of desire. He says the free wind .....is probably IBS.
you abandon traditional word usage to make this a delight to read, in the sense that it rolls like humorous music. very nice.
this poem sticks out a lot, from your library. i don't know why. i like the music behind it. i just thought i'd let you know, if you ever decide to revisit one of your initial masterpieces.
mr larry very very nice riff lark.
i'm in the mood for dancing...
actually just singing it...can't dance.
this read's with so much rythym it's great. The best bit for me was lines 9-11 aswell.
well, i'm still singing it
trying hard to dance.
I liked this a lot, but some of the images seem to be more 70's like billy can and the disco.
whoa, hello again,
larry dear sir lark.
I feel like a man who has neglected his first poetic love but to be honest i have not the time and patience for PC these days though it is a good enough place to store my miserable scribbles
Larry scribbling away to little sffect Lark
lol. this poem is swell. can you tell?
they don't serve breakfast in hell.
words to your mothers.
Some like breakfast hot..I prefer muesli being a pretty cool guy and bound neither up or down
I recommend California Syrup Of Figs for all problems with shit
Larry master blaster Lark
Disco was even invented in the sixties.