poetry critical

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the wake

I waited in line for you
when I finally saw your father
I just couldn’t find the words
all I could do was hold him as we sobbed
he whispered to me
“I just don’t know how she got mixed up in this shit”
I turned to see their sullen faces
the other friends
the ones that stuck the needle in your arm
and sold you the drugs that killed
When I see you the realization of prior events sink in
your tiny frame dressed in jeans and a tee shirt
you're blue all over
the makeup is a sad attempt to cover up the scars
I hear someone distant say
“I can’t believe she never thought she was beautiful”
placing a prayer wheel in your casket I say goodbye
then turn and walk away

6 Dec 06

Rated 6 (6) by 1 users.
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Had I known the girl, it'd been more sad. She was buried in jeans and a t-shirt? how different. often the clothes are of a fancier choice. 6/10
 — Henry

L13 should be "you're"

i like L16 though!
 — ilikeblue

thank you i missed that one!
 — lisac2333

I made just a few changes, hopefully this will help.
 — lisac2333