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Collarbone
chat-noir

The last time I saw you
 1
I was going to heal all my soft spots;
 2
quiet places that still ached from the festering loss
 3
of what was
 4
(or what wasn't).
 5
 
 
I brought a box with
 6
a scarf,
 7
t-shirts of yours I slept in
 8
(now heavy with the scent of my soft belly),
 9
a cactus,
 10
and your mother's book of poetry.
 11
 
 
I searched my room,
 12
previously littered with all the bits and pieces
 13
that come apart and fall away
 14
after a year down our thunder road.
 15
 
 
We exchanged boxes, awkward thank-yous,
 16
and I thought I'd found it all,
 17
 
 
and you kissed me.
 18
 
 
Suddenly I remembered
 19
 
 
how I'd forgotten my lungs in your sink,
 20
abandoned after thanksgiving with your family,
 21
 
 
how the last place I saw my liver
 22
was your cabinet, tinkling in a glass.
 23
 
 
Before you,
 24
they were my own.
 25
 
 
I remembered
 26
how my fingertips
 27
were still tucked into every letter
 28
I'd ever written you,
 29
 
 
how my breasts were still in your palms,
 30
 
 
how my collarbone was left tangled in your sheets.
 31
 
 
But I knew where my heart was,
 32
because I felt her slide her way across the room,
 33
spanning the three feet between us to leap
 34
up your sleeve,
 35
so I did not ask for my heart
 36
to be in that box.
 37
 
 
And, if something is still working
 38
it must not be broken,
 39
so maybe
 40
 
 
if a piece of me
 41
still knows your breathing,
 42
I am not brokenhearted after all.
 43
 
 
I left, shaken,
 44
wondering
 45
if your ankles ever got kicked
 46
under my bed,
 47
if a rib ever fell into
 48
my sock drawer,
 49
 
 
or even
 50
if I didn’t know it
 51
in all my dreams
 52
of yellow dogs and psychedelic umbrellas,
 53
 
 
if you might find me one day,
 54
in the supermarket
 55
or a traffic light,
 56
 
 
and notice your heart
 57
 
 
still between my hands.
 58

7 Dec 06


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(13 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

I believe you can cut this ruthlessly and it will be better for it.  Last line, between your hands?  What's holding it up?  I think you might mean IN your hands!

I'll come back to this.  
 — Isabelle5

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