poetry critical

online poetry workshop



i wanted to capture beauty
topop

i wanted to capture beauty
 1
as if it were honey
 2
sickle spilling over the bridges of the trees
 3
splashing and spickling into the the cool rivers below
 4
so that i could drink the waters - sweet.
 5
 
 
i knew that it only came for a minute
 6
- the feeling -
 7
as i press each key on the board down hard
 8
impressing the poetry, which they call it,  into my mind
 9
falling.
 10
 
 
i wanted it to look as intoxicating as the swirling of the rose
 11
red with edges wilting
 12
as to exasperate the petals
 13
in their intricate maze whose center reveals true love
 14
but love is found only by those who get there without destroying the petals
 15
who reach it by swimming between.
 16
 
 
my parents opened the door
 17
broke the electricity bounding the room
 18
which is where i am now - loose - you too.
 19

27 Jan 07

Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 8

(define the words in this poem)
(46 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

title misspelled ...
 — slancho

the comparison between the rose and love was good, it didnt feel cliched at all.
 — crismonblue

0.335s