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Some good ol' pussy
Maximilian


 1
               Th                                   er
 2
               es a                               kit
 3
               ten s                            ittin
 4
               g on m                       y che
 5
               st. The                      res a k
 6
               itten s i                    tting on
 7
               my che     st. Th       eres a k
 8
             itten sitting on my chest. There
 9
             s a kitten sitting on my chest. T
 10
m e       heres a       kitten s      itting on      m e
 11
     o w  my ches    t. Theres   s kitten s   o w
 12
m e o w  itting on my chest. Theres a kitt  m e o w
 13
     m e  en sitting on my chest. Theres a  m e
 14
o w       kitten sitting  on  my chest. Ther       o w
 15
            es a kitten sitting on my chest. T
 16
              heres a kitten sitting on my c
 17
                   hest. Theres a kitten
 18
                    sitting on my chest.
 19

This poem was about 3 months in the making, and I finally feel ready to share this with you all. Please, serious comments only. If you post as unknown, I will punch you in the nose. But don't forget that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so when my fist hits your nose, you are also hitting my fist with an equal force, so you can't sue.

12 Feb 07

Rated 9 (6.7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8, 9
Inactive (14): 1, 1, 1, 3, 3, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(1 more poem by this author)



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Comments:

I think you realize that this is ridiculous, in the title you've chosen, by your footnote, even in the content of the poem.

You know this royally sucks.
 — unknown

nice work bologna
 — unknown

If this rhymed you'd be on to something. 10/10
 — Henry

great work Henry
 — unknown

excellent work borat
 — unknown

**Punches the unknowns in the nose.**
 — Maximilian

I think this is cute, made me laugh and reminded me of my old cat!
 — dele

the ears are too big.
looks like
michael keaton
val kilmer
george clooney
christian bale...
but not the guy from the tv show (west?)
nifty idea, though
 — chuckles

adam west!
 — chuckles

I really like this.  It amuses me greatly. I feel your footnote is completely unnecessary and your smutty title spoils the gentle whimsicality of this.  Love the meow whiskers.
 — unknown

**Punches the unknown in the nose.**
 — Maximilian

Why did this take you three months to write. Its one sentence and one word repeated over and over again. It barely even looks like a cat. Why not use some different sentences instead of repeating the same lackluster one over and over again?
 — InMyBlood

No there...why can't people write more poems like this. If people on this website could write with this much skill, this poetry website would be a better place. Good work poet.
 — Henry

This reminds me of the song "Leaf House" by Animal Collective, you should take a listen.
 — sadie

so... are you aware that typing "punches the unknown in the nose" does not, in reality, cause someone to be punched? i mean... you know it does absolutely nothing, right?
 — unknown

I like muchly - frivolous but gorgeous.
 — opal

This is an insult to anyone who takes poetry or critiquing seriously.

"3 months" is a ridiculous time to have conceived this. If it did take you three months, you would have been added to my prayers (if, indeed, I did pray).

Now, why this doesn't work, imo:

As stated, you've repeated practically the same statement endlessly. That statement offers nothing the first, nor does it the second or third, beyond its superficial meaning.
There's no evidence of any poetic conventions, beyond the form itself.
Concerning the form, while marginally clever, it fails: the cat is missing a nose and mouth.
Your footnote is, arguably, more interesting than the poem itself. Perhaps the title could be considered somewhat interesting, if not immature.


If you would like to see some exemplary works of "form" or "concrete" poetry on PC, check here:

http://www.poetry .tetto.org/read/12004/ &
http://www.poetry .tetto.org/read/13707/
 — Rixes

there's a bullet in your chest

there's a bullet in your chest

meow

st3ntorian
 — unknown

Those are ok - but they have something of a contrived feel about them - this is achieving so much through playfulness.
 — opal

Now I enjoyed this a lot.  The title grabbed me, and the unexpectedness strikes me as setting up the whimsy of this piece; dammed is I could get the image right however long, especially like the whiskers.  Concrete poetry often strikes me as
hardly worth the effort, whereas this is immediately comprehensible...but go on...sock it too me... ya think I'm afraid of you...
 — unknown

When a cat sits on your chest and stares into your eyes it's wonderful, poetry even. The minimalism of this works great. The poems that rixes highlights are shape poems that shriek ...  'Look how clever I am, now try and read this fucking marvellous piece of brilliance.' This piece of lovely fluff just purrs gently as we relax into its warmth.

**Punches Maximillian on the nose.**
 — unknown

i am wearing the same stainless false nost that lee marvin wore in cat ballou
you cannot hurt me
i am invincible
long live unknowns

i would not say this sucks in the royal sense but
is does suck in the common usage
 — unknown

Too hard to read the way it is laid out, so I'm not bothering to read it.
 — MelissaK

Anybody who reads this mess is stupid.
 — unknown

I had this as a random poem and I just wanted to say again what a moving piece this was. Good work Max.
 — Henry

You know this is a place for real poetry, right?
If I were to crit this as poetry and not a calligramme, I would say it's...repetitive.
Also, you can't dictate who comments on your poetry and who says what. Don't like it, then leave. And by the way, you look like an idiot saying, "*Punchese the unknown etc repost*". Speak in first person unless referring to someone other than yourself. Poetic license hardly pertains to the way you should speak to others in a civil conversation.
 — FangzOfFire

this poem sucks
 — unknown

The format's cool, but it's very hard to read even though the same line is dominates the entire piece.  Maybe it took 3 months to lay out like this on the page, but we all know it only took 3 seconds to write and that's pretty sad.  :-(  Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow.  I 'll at least rate it for design purposes.
 — starr

I meant, "the same line dominates the piece," not the same line "is" dominates the piece.  I'm goin' on 10 hours at work right now.  Just wanted to clarify what I meant.  Thanks.  :-)
 — starr

Great work Max. Keep it up! I just had to comment on it because you were on the front page due to the random poem feature. If only more people could write with as much Poe-like skill. This guy is a genius.  
 — Henry

well I'll punch you in the pussy.
wow three months
Are you a lawyer?

this isn't poetry.
 — DeformedLion

nice construction and i like how you have the little balony for people to stand and look out over omaha. the text is the thing, and though this is a clever crafting, it's still a poetry object here in poetry critical and i'd rather look at you writing this in your underwear than look at this for more than one time, cause of the way keep snapping at your waistband for inspiration to the music of cocteau twins.
 — joey

I'm having a bit of difficulty understanding why you felt the need to repeat the one sentence over and over again with a separate word for the whiskers (and how this could've taken you 3 months).  I just don't see any meaning in it, and if there is none, why deciding write it or spend such an extensive period of time on it.
 — cualquier

Adorable picture!  Points for the artwork!  
 — Isabelle5

I love the way you used spaces to make the ears. Are you into crafts? You can make some really cool stuff with popsicle sticks and elmers glue. Despite what Joey says this is NOT poetry or a poetic form or imagery in poetic space, it's like a stupid optical illusion. A parlor trick and a cheesy one at that. So I'm giving you a ten for all your hard work.
 — unknown

Please see Cool Cats
 — sadie

Hey, I like it!
 — Redlander

hahaha! thank you, Joey.
 — unknown

I would have added it to my favorites if it weren't for the title :-(
 — Redlander

^

Well, you missed my nose.

meow.

-SarahMichele
 — unknown

lovely

beautifully simplistic yet nihilistic

yet not

one comment: dont you think you should make pussy's wiskers bit longer lest you look like a pussy molester?

you know . . . getting caught in too contricted spaces and all?

yours

Chesire Bat
 — unknown

well thought out
 — unknown

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