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Just.. Stop.
CervusWright

A thought stream..

How much the villain am I?
 1
When all that is yearned for
 2
is all that I seek
 3
and All
 4
that is sought
 5
is I
 6
Am
 7
the thoughts that assail me?
 8
Sanctioning their rotation
 9
aggravation to elation
 10
the story I believe
 11
my Self to Be
 12
yet none of it
 13
is Me.
 14
 
 
How much the scourge am I?
 15
When the rapture and rage passes by
 16
paralysis, suffocate
 17
My horror, My pain
 18
I entertain
 19
perversely
 20
the lie
 21
that All
 22
is Me
 23
yet I remain.  Here
 24
Am I
 25
I Am
 26
seeking the sound and fury
 27
regret and remorse collapse me
 28
Still
 29
this too
 30
goes by.
 31
 
 
How much the Love am I?
 32
As I breathe in a tangerine sky
 33
and My feet infiltrate tidal loam,
 34
who am I?
 35
Dark and Light
 36
Love - hate; good - evil; doubt - belief.
 37
Peace and violence
 38
shame
 39
and Innocence
 40
all Truth already known
 41
Still
 42
what lies beneath
 43
Me
 44
No thing, Now here,
 45
a Master, a Mentor, a Seer
 46
as it is below
 47
so it is above
 48
Existence tells us so.
 49
We are needed
 50
for Life and I
 51
I am
 52
Love
 53
alone.
 54

18 Feb 07

Rated 9 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (6): 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10

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Comments:

Sorry...this is horrible. I know you just put it up, but this is abysmal. I did enjoy your whimsical rhyme. a 9/10 for that.
 — Henry

Thank you kindly :D
 — unknown

I get it, but there wont be too many that do.  This is terrific, unknown & makes you think about who we really are (10)
 — unknown

Thanks for reading and for understanding and for your feeback, Unknown above ^
 — unknown

This is beautifully written as it caputures the truth about ourselves. Our wants consume us so that we doubt the substance of ourselves. You are not alone.

Here I am and love is where I must nurture it!
 — fallentears

Thanks fallentears.  Saying that I 'am not alone' is just what I needed to read at this moment.  Timely feedback for me right now, and I really appreciate it.  Thanks again..
 — CervusWright

wat
 — unknown

your header was the first thing i thought when i saw the layout of this poem - it seems to 'stream' in and out -  poetic meander. hmm.

normally, a question in the first line is something i'm not a big fan of, but this seems to be phrased in quite a, whats the word ... whismical (?) way.

lines 2-5 flow rather nicely, but then it gets broken up and i lose the feel for it - i feel like i've hit a rocky patch somewhere upstream, getting stuck on a difficult bend. it breaks down the flow. unless of course you have intended for this process of erosion. i was wondering if you be so kind as to tell me the purpose of the breakdown in lines 6-7?

line 12 - Self to Be? why are the capital? i don't see the purpose of them.

stanza 2 feels much better - the flow is more free and less broken down.

line 33 - tangerine sky feels overused. not in your poem, but with regards to the phrase as a whole. maybe something more, 'real' could be used - to compliment the rather unique way this poem is written.

the final stanza i think is beautifully written. overall, the aspect and approach is written quite passionately. I'm just intrigued by the reasoning for the random capitals.

8/10
Eso
 — Esoteric

Fine and intense psychological poem. I saw my own thinking process embedded in some of these lines. I liked the contrast i felt between the light surface rhythm you created and the depth it conveyed.

Larry angst man Lark
 — larrylark

I enjoyed your non-toad poem.
 — chuckles

love this whirlwind of a poem...
 — lzug

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