poetry critical

online poetry workshop

as of yesterday.

girl i know says she hasn't seen
so much or known
so much or told
so many stories; yet in her words i hold
remnants and tiny pieces and fragments
of what life would be like
if distance were irrelevant
and my dreams were consistent
with the air i breathe
each time i awaken.
she's living, reminding me again
of my most vibrant moments
as she paraphrases eloquent stanzas
with sibilant motion
and beautiful noise.

for jennifer.

27 Mar 07

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 — unknown

er. thanks, unknown.
 — midare

hooray comments.
personally i think this poem is awesome.
 — midare

this, this poem is awesome.
i could have sworn i had nothing to say after the first read except that.
and after so much more reading, i agree with myself.
this is a beautiful dedication, midare.

 — varun

and yes, have a better day...
 — varun

L4,5 i think needing some more attention.
in her words i hold (strange)
remnants and tiny pieces and fragments (your roast is well-done. i ordered rare.)
nice words
 — unknown

the line-breaks of the first three lines is incredible.

6-8 are exquisite. i want them.
 — varun