poetry critical : poem

Psychedelic Dream.

Cimmerian gloom luminous delusional	1
compels twilight sleep & daydream	2
Lodged in my heart like	3

like	4


like sunset gazing eyesights	5

come lets go somewhere	6
and have no idea where we are going	7

(the quartz turning smoky	8
the time	9
pale turquoise	10
cedar written thoughts	11
bawd parade	12

amethyst topaz jade & sapphire	13
walking amidst a psychedelic dream?)	14


you think you will give me a young death	15

'a rustic street poet' (epitaph)	16

i think you will make me want to live	17
again.	18

2 Apr 07

Rated 8.7 (8.8) by 5 users.

Active (5): 7, 8, 8, 10, 10
Inactive (1): 9

(define the words in this poem)
(68 more poems by this author)

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Comments:

I love 15-17. Beautiful.
— PollyReg

I would like to be in the state of L6 and 7 forever.

Larry losing himself Lark
— larrylark

Thnx polly and larry... the lines that u have mentioned are my favorite too.

thnx.
— trochee

pale turquoise
cedar written thoughts
^ my favorite lines.. mainly because the contrast between turquoise and cedar is so soothing.

i love it. it actually feels like an acid trip. i think this is beautiful
— sunshinesgf

nice poem.
— chuckles

THNX for commenting sunshine and chuckles.
— trochee

Interesting diversion from yr 'usual'. What had you been taking :-)? It's quite disassociative and clever. Why cap Dream and not psychedelic?
— JustineCH

I find your poem's structure interesting and the diction. I haven't gone this far in my writing.
— JoelJosol

thnx a lot Justine and JJ.
yup i am tryin hard to draw versatility. lets see if it adds one more feather in my cap.
thnx for taking your time out and commenting on my work.
— trochee

*oooh, this one i dig!
— unknown

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